I was reading Entertainment Weekly, and it said that Britney Spears had lost custody of her kids. (John had to stop me right there and mock me for A. reading EW cover to cover, B. getting involved in the lives of celebrities, and C. Britney Spears for heaven’s sake. I assume most of you are having similar reactions. In fact, I will happily make fun of myself over this. Now, let’s get back to my point.) They had a quote from the parenting coach who observed Spears in her home with her kids, two and one, and said that she “rarely engaged with the children in either conversation or play.”

My stomach clenches every time I think about this. How can you not talk to your kids?

Granted a lot of my conversations are, “No, David I will not pick you up while I have your milk in one hand and my hot tea in the other.” Or “Rose I would be happy to help you get dressed, but you need to get moving now!” But then there are the long conversations with David.

David: Kitty!
Debby: Did you see a kitty?
David: Meow!
Debby: Yes, a kitty says meow. I see the kitty. I think you are a kitty.
David (crawling on the floor): Meow!

Or with Rose

Rose: Do you think giants are bigger than the world?
Debby: Well, a giant holds up the world.
Rose: Really?
Debby: That’s what I’ve been told. His name is Atlas, and he holds the world on his shoulders.
Rose: The world must feel like a speck of dust to him.

The kids are always tugging at my pant leg, crawling into my lap, calling “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy” across the house. I can see not getting down on the floor and playing trains or reading stories or coloring or pulling puzzles apart or throwing balls but how is it humanly possible not to interact with them?

I know a lot of parents—school, Sunday school, work friends, hiking club friends—and they all are fantastic. They make healthy lunches. They monitor their kids on the play equipment. They are kind, loving, attentive.

Even as I give lip service to understanding the crisis with neglected and abused kids, I really don’t know what’s going on. Somehow this messed up celebrity brought it home and made it hurt.