He loved his lesson so much today he kept saying it seemed really short. And he put his head in the water and swam.

I wasn't updating for a few days because it was all so grim. David was crying. I was crying. David was recovering and cheerful. I was getting head-aches, knots in my stomach, snapping at the kids, and dreading every day. And, even worse, I was doing it all to myself. Because if the goal was to learn how to swim, he was quite happy to get in the pool with me in the afternoons. But I was having trouble letting go and re-envisioning my whole summer. And even though he had resisted mightily for four days, I just didn't believe he didn't want to take swim lessons.

On Monday I had a chat with the head teacher. He suggested I get David's toes in the water and vacate the pool area. I figured it couldn't be any worse than what we'd been going through, so on Tuesday I did it. On Tuesday, David did not cry or freak out. It took him 27 minutes to join his 30 minute class, but I gave him the first sticker for jumping in at the end. And he did, no problem.

Today, I promised him two stickers if he got in right away and did his whole lesson. (The prize for a week's worth of lessons, by the way, is a squirt gun from the dollar store.) He did. He suddenly became normal boy: happy, engaged, trying everything, and completely proud of himself. He even attempted some dives.

I worry there will be some backsliding when we change teachers next week, but I think we are over the worst of it.

So, what was the problem? I truly don't know, but here are my guesses:

Shy

I frankly feel this was the biggest problem. David is shy. I know the words, but I don't really understand what it means to be shy--how it feels, what can help manage it. A few years ago, I used to have to spend over an hour helping him acclimate to a birthday party.

This year every time he changed teachers in gymnastics class, he freaked out. I insisted he join his class, and once there, he had a fabulous time. Obviously, that strategy didn't work here. Over the course of the week, he's hung out with his teacher and I introduced him to several of his classmates. When he finally started using their names, I knew we were almost home free.

Intimidated

David is not scared of putting his head in the water or other common swimming fears, but I made the mistake of putting him in the class he was ready for at the end of season last year, Advanced Floaters. I think he looked at all the other kids actually swimming and thought there's no way that's me. He kept looking longingly at the kids in the Floaters class. I tried to get him moved, but they were already filled up. On the way to swim class today, he asked me if he had to dive. So obviously he had been thinking about some of the skills he wasn't ready for. I said no, but then he did them.

Spiral Down

Usually, I'm pretty good at jollying him out of a descent into misery, but as became clear on Monday, my presence didn't help. He got and sad and sadder and couldn't pull himself out of it.

Stuck

I know he wanted to learn to swim. Once he got entrenched in his I'm not taking swim lessons stance, he didn't have a good way to change. I struggled to find a face saving way for him to try. The chart seemed to have done the trick.