Over snack yesterday, Rose told me, "This really doesn't bother me, but I told this boy at school that I'm Jewish, and he calls me Jesus hater."

I did not overreact.

First, I said, "Is that his way of flirting?" Because I've had that happen when someone says something that could be considered cruel, offensive, sexist, or even anti-semitic, and really they are just trying to connect with you through teasing. I had a colleague, where we both enjoyed each other and had a lot of respect for each other's work, regularly call me a feminazi. I didn't want to get this boy kicked out of school for having a crush on my daughter.

"No," she said, still calmly eating her yogurt and dripping it on her shirt. "He says mean things to a lot of people. He swears. He's actually kind of a bully." She said this as though the thought has suddenly occurred to her. "Sometimes he cries in class like when he loses a debate and says 'It's not fair.'"

I said, "Huh, sounds like he has problems."

And that's how we left it. Mostly, I feel great that my daughter is meeting adversity, "the real world," and surviving fine.

And on the other hand, UGGH. Somehow in my naive little land of Jewish friends, friends who love their Jewish friends, and completely ignorant acquaintances who are eager to learn about Judaism in a calm open-hearted way, I forgot about anti-Semitism. I forgot Jew was a swear word. I forgot Jewish meant moral corruption, avarice, control of the banks and the media.

I must have some serious cognitive dissonance going on because I just read Jerusalem by Montefiore all about Jews getting burned, eviscerated, murdered for being Jewish. But that was back then. Or the rabbis shot in the synagogue in Jerusalem last month. That was over there.

It's not like I thought hatred was gone, and we all lived in rainbow land. I am petrified for young black men in our country. And getting pulled over for driving while black or gunned down by police is a lot more serious than being called a cruel name by a disturbed kid.

But somehow I thought my daughter would not have to confront anti-Semitism.

When I was in 7th grade, I took one of the best classes of my life. It was an elective at synagogue called "Jewish Assertiveness." First, we learned how to be assertive. I still remember the role plays. Then we learned how to answer specific anti-Jewish taunts. Historical accuracy for some, chapter and verse for others. I don't remember the details, but I have the hand-outs right here. I kept them, and with the rabbi's guidance, I'm going to make sure Rose knows them.