I'd like to start off by saying GGGGAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!

Yes, life is spinning magnificently out of control - the perfect storm of beautifully optomistic heartbreaking chaos whirling at winds of over 100 MPH.

And while I give you a moment to deconstruct that last sentence, let's just say that my room, devoid of furniture with papers, clothes, books and useless junk strewn all over, looks like it's been hit by hurricane Francis' first landfall. It's also the perfect physical expression of the emotional and logistical state of things in my head these days - these last few days in LA. Scrambling to pack things up, while trying not to rush the goodbye.

Cronkette, in conjunction with my parents, threw me an awesome surprise party last night. I had a great time being with friends for a last hurrah, and it was obvious both Cronkette and the rents put a lot of work into it - decorations, food, etc. Cronkette got up early yesterday morning, rushed to work, worked all day, went straight to my parents' place (unbenounced to me), set stuff up for a few hours, prepared food, partied, and then we were cleaning up till after 1AM. Then she had to be at work this morning by 8AM.

Basically, she ran herself into the ground to throw me a goodbye party before I leave her here in LA to go to school in Chicago.

Let me take this quick moment to say I am a fucking idiot. I mean, there's no justification for what I'm doing, right? I've found happiness, so what do I do? Put that happiness in jeopardy by moving somewhere else. Like I'm a glutton for punishment, as if I'm not happy being happy, and I'm making this beautiful girl who I love suffer - all while she puts on a strong brave face and supports me.

Seriously, if by some chance you recognize me on the street, I give you full authorization to punch me in the face. I won't even stop you if I see it coming.

I am a horrible, horrible person.

So okay then! I've been burning to post more, especially with what I've been seeing of the RNC, but as stated above things have been nuts. Instead, I've had to settle for leaving pestering comments on other people's blog/journals. But trust me: I had a great McCain speech satire ("the lost transcript) in the pipeline - you would have loved it! I had an excellent Kevin Nealon/Dana Carvey press release on Arnold taking "girlie-men" and running with it. Alas, all this coincided with my last days at work. If only every brilliant idea coincided with your last day at work - then you could just shamelessly call everything brilliant without the whole "completing it" part, sorta like I'm doing right now.

So let me settle for just a couple observations:

Was I the only one who watched Cheney's speech, his upper lip curling into that snarl as he blasted Kerry, and thought he sorta resembled Darth Vader when Luke pulls his helmet off at the end of Return of the Jedi? Just me?

And Zell Miller...Jesus! With friends like that who needs enemies? (The same thing that must go through Kerry's head every time he hears Bob Dole preface his remarks with "Look, John Kerry's a good friend of mine, but...")

Seriously, what do the Republicans have on this guy? I mean, he absolutely blasted Bush, Sr. 12 years ago and now there he is up in the rafters sitting next to the guy? What planet did I wake up on yesterday morning? Was I the only one watching Zell's speech - stirring up fear, talkin' 'bout spitballs, and coming just short of saying Kerry would give Al Qaeda the key to the city - and immediately think of the distinguished Senator from Nevada, Pat Geary, in Godfather II?

Zell even sorta looks like the guy - it's uncanny! Do you think the Republicans set him up, pulling a Michael Corleone? I have to wonder if Karl Rove and Scott McClellan weren't throwing back beers and watching Godfather II when Scott made the following observation:

Scott: That Senator really looks like ol' Zell, doesn't he?

Karl: [suddenly gets an evil grin, like he's thinking something up. Silently takes a swig of beer, and doesn't answer.]

I can just see Zell in that Reno brothel instead of Senator Geary - wearing a bloody towel, dazed, confused, in shock, and horrified as the dead prostitute lays on the bed: "When I woke up I was on the floor...and I don't know how it happened. It was just a game! I do know that I could not have hurt that girl! [sob]"

Poor Zell. Next thing he knows he's up at the podium giving a keynote address at the RNC. Just like Geary, standing up and excusing himself from the Senate mafia hearings:

Mr. Chairman unfortunately I have to leave these proceedings in order to preside over a very important meeting of my own committee. But before I leave I want to say this, that these hearings on the Mafia are in no way whatsoever a slur upon the great Italian people...

He never knew what hit him, or how they got to him. Hey, it was just business.

And on that note, back to the grind.