‘Turn on my computer, and this headline instantly catches my eye. Christ, are they kidding? Un-fucking-believable. First George Soros is a drug money launderer and now this. It’d be one thing if this was just your ordinary screwball hard-liner right wing Congressman. But this is the Speaker of the House! Dennis Hastert: The Revenge of Newt Gingrich.

Predictably, other Republican legislative leaders have already put distance between themselves and such nutty comments. But once it’s out there, it’s out there. Can someone say “Swiftvets”? Another hand beautifully played by the Republican leadership.

Since we currently don’t have television in my apartment, my roommate and I went downtown yesterday to take in some football at this outdoor bar. (If the cable guy doesn’t get here soon, I’m gonna start turning Jack Nicholson from The Shining. All work and no play makes Dickie a dull boy)

Anyways, practically every other commercial was this Ford spot featuring Toby Keith. Shots of Toby looking tough. Shots of Toby looking angry (grrrr!). Shots of Toby sparring and shadow boxing. And, of course, shots of Toby driving on dirt roads in his new Ford truck.

Look, obviously there’s no problem with marketing towards a target demographic…but this whole Toby Keith/Ford relationship still makes me uneasy. Outside of the Southeast, Texas, and oh, let’s throw Michigan in there too lest Cronkette accuse me of being regionalist, nobody except the occasional displaced die-hard country music fan knows Toby for his musical talents. No, instead Toby made national headlines more for his outspoken political views, bluntly and unapologetically expressed in “Courtesy of the Red White and Blue.” Pretending I like country music, it’s a crappy song even by the genre’s standards. People primarily know Toby for his feud with Natalie and the Dixie Chicks. They understand exactly where he stands on heated political issues – that’s where Toby gets the bulk of his fame, er, notoriety.

So I can’t say I’m exactly comfortable with this blurring of the lines between politics and consumerism. Especially when the hawker (no pun intended) is a staunch supporter of the incumbency’s hardliner policies. I sit there watching the screen, above the bartender who’s ignored me the last five times I’ve tried to flag her down, and I see even football being appropriated for the administration, albeit somewhat indirectly. ‘Shouldn’t surprise me though – what’s more American than American football?

If Toby can pitch his Ford-tough trucks, does Natalie Maines do a Masengil commercial and then all’s forgiven…?

I’d also like to give a quick shoutout to Phil Parlock, who, taking a small page from all those militant fighters who hide out in buildings filled with innocent civilian women and children, took his three year-old daughter Sophia to a John Edwards rally, hoisted her on his shoulders, and had her hold up a Bush/Cheney sign in the middle of the crowd.

I’m sure little Sophia is a die-hard Bush supporter.

Anyways, the predictable result was a perfect PR photo-op for the Bush Campaign. The crowd kepting yanking away the signs from her and tearing them up, and little Sophia starting crying. Yet another hand well-played by the other side.

Not that I condone the actions of the crowd, tearing up Sophia’s sign, but you’ve got to worry about a guy willing to use his three year-old daughter to instigate trouble. Let’s hope next time he doesn’t throw a Bush/Cheney T-shirt on her and toss her in the middle of an anti-war rally....