Garber garsh gutenhourt! Gigonae gop gorning. Gy? Glosen go geegen goperhaus guemanen gorsh. Geepen goshen goo-

Editor's note: Woops, we were afraid this was going to happen sooner or later.

It seems this weekend's travel schedule, combined with Tuesday morning's fabulous news on top of a hell day of editing, punctuation and AP style (parents have the terrible two's, J-school student's at Dickie's university have the terrible Tuesdays), coupled with a *riveting* evening City Council meeting, leading to a full day writing an exciting page-turner of an article on the Village of Wilmette's FY2005 municipal budget...

Gorp!

...followed by a meeting on the DC program (city, not blogger), topped off with a lecture by esteemed author E.L. Doctorow has cost Dickie control of his mental facilities.

We believe it was the Doctorow lecture that finally - tragically - pushed Dickie over the edge.

We have a bedpan standing by, in case he loses control of his physical capacities as well.

Hold on...we're administering the electroshock right now.

I saw two punk-rockers on the street today. It made me sad.

Editor's note: OK. Clearly this is going to take a while. Please check back in tomorrow. Dickie's been brimming with political commentary and we know he'd really like to get it off his chest, if at all possible.

We also promise to remind him that he's only halfway through his first quarter. The fact that he's bitching already is nothing short of astounding. We thought he'd make it at least a few more weeks, but as usual we overestimated.

Kind regards.