Real quickly:

I'm just hearing on the radio that Oprah's mag just published the top 50 chick flicks of all time.

[shudder]

Look, I'm not going to say it again: This woman must be stopped. At all costs. There is no greater threat than Oprah. People, heed my warning: The day is soon at hand when Oprah's female armies will rise up and march across this land. The skies will turn black and the rivers will run red with blood as we males are forcefully interned into couples-therapy camps to talk about how we "feel."

Phase 1, operation "implant all female studio audience members with the 'O-chip,'" is almost complete.

I know you think me mad - all prophets had this problem. I am but a voice crying out in the wilderness. Don't worry, you'll see...

Anyways...

'Moved to Lincoln Park - the "LP," yo - this weekend, with no more than my trusty 4-Runner and a little help from my friends (Hugh and Frosty). I was especially surprised Frosty lent a hand, considering I spent all of Saturday night drunkenly calling him "Joe McCarthy." It really says a lot about his generous nature, then, to help lug my mattress up three flights of stairs the next day. He's a good sport. (Maybe next I'll subscribe him to the Socialist Worker and see what happens.)

Unfortunately I've got a take-home midterm to contend with...the same test I should have been working on this weekend instead of moving. (Again, kudos to my now ex-roommate. What a guy.)

But if I survive this week it will have worked out for the best. I can now walk home from the "L" without being solicited to purchase various narcotic substances, so I got that going for me, which is nice. I'm also a lot closer to the Loop - you can even catch the north end of the skyline if you walk down the street, so it's definitey a more happening spot. For a happening guy like me. [cough].

Anyways duty calls, but in the midst of all this craziness I feel compelled to quote the most famous of all Chicagoans:

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.

True dat.