After the last post, I got a couple of emails so let me clarify: I'm loving Paris. We all have our annoying travel moments - but you can't sum up someone's overall impression of a place on an isolated moment.

You want my overall impression? This is truly a great effing city. The only problem is it's filled with French people. If it weren't for that, this place would be unstoppable.

(French people are to Paris what the winter is to Chicago, basically.)

Last night a few of us wound up at this hip-hop/salsa club on the Champs-Elysee, Latina Cafe. We stayed till closing - 5AM. Stunningly, it was affordable and even more stunningly, I had a rip-roaring, bitch-smacking good time. Even Hole liked the joint - I mean, that tells you something right there.

The details are fuzzy, but around 5:20AM I may or may not have had a crepe with nutella and banan and it may or may not have been the best fucking food I have ever imbibed.

Fast-forward to about 3PM today, when Hole, Boss-one and I pulled Lance Armstrongs and did our own customized bike tour of the city.

We started at the rental place on the east side of Paris, between Bastille and Republique. On Sundays, they close the street running along the Seine, so we hit the river and slung-shot over to the Eiffel Tower on the west side, then cut north through all those narrow european side streets to this big triumphant-looking "Arc" thingy (ironic for the French), then northeast to Pigalle and Montmatre where we passed by Moulin Rouge and then ascended to the view from the Sacre Cour cathedral, where a bunch of goddamn dirty hippies were playing bad covers of John Lennon and Four friggin' Non-Blondes on the steps of the church. There is no doubt in my mind that God frowns upon this, and they're going straight to Hell. Finally, we cut back southeast to the rental place, completing the scenic loop.

During the bike expedition, I confirmed two hunches:

First, there is indeed a city-wide conspiracy to hit us Americains estupids via oncoming traffic. At any given intersection, you've got about five streets to worry about with cars coming from all directions. We had several near hits, dodging cars coming out of nowhere - the worst for me being one of those pussy little "smart cars" (think the Mini, except maybe three-quarters the size, literally) by the Eiffel Tower. I was lucky to escape with a bloody knee after wiping out against the curb. My bike chain came off, so I got grease all over my hands putting it back, so Boss-one went to this refreshment stand selling 12oz cokes for four dollars to grab a napkin.

Boss-one: "Servillette?"

French guy: "...what?"

Boss: "Um, do you have a napkin? Servillette?"

Guy: Are you buying zum-theen?

Boss: No, please, I just need a napkin.

The guy looks over his shoulder at some other guy, who shakes his head. Non. No napkeen.

So Boss-one, in a classic move, reaches over the counter and grabs half their napkins. We get on our bikes and ride off as they yell after us. Diplomacy at its finest.

Second, Paris is easy on the eyes pretty much wherever you wander. Speaking of easy on the eyes, again - so are the women here...Jesus H. Meanwhile, the guys look goofy and wear goofier clothing. (And yes, this phenomenon will continue even after I leave.)

A great weekend - see? I like the place, I really do.