First, this Jill Carroll situation really bugs me - she and I are the same age so it hits close to home. I think some journalists venture to Iraq because of an overwhelming sense of responsibility to bring the world that story; others because they're fucking nuts. I don't know where Jill Caroll falls on that spectrum, but from everything I've read it's closer to the former. And to be honest, I'm not gonna go on an "It's such a shame that war correspondents can't do their job without risk of death" rant because, no pun intended, that comes with the territory. I mean, how would you try and explain that privilege to innocent Iraqi citizens who don't have the benefit of the "journalist" tag and are just trying to not get blown up on a daily basis? That sounds like fun.

But what these reporters do is indispensible. I admire every brass-balled reporter over there. A couple of months ago I took a safe-taxi to pick up Oly at the Caracas airport. As we sat in construction traffic on the two-lane "highway," Oly started talking about a J-School grad from a few years back who graduated...and promptly hitched a flight to effing Baghdad to freelance, right before Shock and Awe started. Can you imagine? Wow, I thought. Big Brass Balls. And there we were in a cab together to ensure that Oly didn't get kidnapped, if that gives you some perspective.

I hope to God Jill and the other thirty or so journalists in custody are eventually released safely...unfortunately I am not optimistic.

Editor's Note: We know what you're thinking and don't worry: We'll make sure Dickie takes all necessary precautions to stay safe in the gritty streets of Palm Springs. Yesterday the cops picked up a homeless man on the sidewalk. They called in for backup. No one was hurt, thank god.


Actually, I'm writing this from God's Country West. I rolled into God's Country East on Monday and two and a half hours later was putting my John Hancock on a lease at a really decent apartment, about a mile off of the main drag of culture and civilization. So not bad. Yesterday, my parents rolled into town with fresh supplies - a godsend - and we spent all day setting up the apartment.

Furniture is friggin' expensive in God's Country East. The various "consignment" or "estate" shops - the places where children bring their retiree parents' stuff once they die - sell gaudy second-hand wares at high-end retail prices. So when my new editor phoned yesterday to say he was calling in sick today and could I start on Thursday instead, I saw an opportunity to return to God's Country West and do some Craig's List sofa shopping on the cheap.

Plus, I don't have TV or internet access yet - after 12 hours I start to get the shakes. Well...either it's the lack of mass media or I'm going through big-city withdrawal faster than expected. (Yikes.)

Joe Lieberman was on NPR tonight. Am I the only one who thinks if Gore/Lieberman were elected- er, democratically sworn in after the 2000 election, then even though the new VP-turned-douchebag president on 24 is a dead-ringer for Nixon he would actually be more of a Lieberman? Is that just me?

Driving back to God's Country West last night, I saw an ad for Bambi Two. Seriously, Bambi fucking Two! "Bambi Two: Bambi's Revenge." Please stay tuned for the Apocalypse. Are we still considering it a coincidence that Disney Animation had to buy Pixar yesterday to stay afloat?

Look, I'm not a smart man. But you put me in charge of Disney Animation, we're not releasing "Dumbo III" and our company still has a shot at keeping its product relevant without purchasing cutting-edge computer animation. I'm just saying. Chris Penn could run the company better.

In related news, I hope you are all planning to boycott The Pink Panther to send Steve Martin a message after "Cheaper by the Dozen TWO!!" Blegh! Go check out Syriana instead. You'll walk out thinking "Wow, what a great movie! ...I have no idea what just happened, but what a great movie!"

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to drive the (not brand) new $180 Craig's List couch hanging out of my truck back to God's Country East. Hopefully that Chris Penn joke didn't piss off the karma gods, and we don't have a "spill" on I-10. Tomorrow's Day One at The Desert Sun - think good thoughts.