Dickie Cronkite

Goodness! It's been quite awhile, hasn't it?

Well, the good news is we're still getting triple-digit temperatures and it's OCTOBER FUCKING FIRST! AAAGH! FUCK YOU!! AAARRGG!!

Let's see, a brief recap of recent highlights ... since it's 6:52 p.m. and there's poker to be played:

Boozemyer's bachelor party up in Santa Barbara. (Sub)highlights included a true sex-related story involving one of my buddies that resulted in Alec Baldwin getting stuck with a $10,000 property damage bill. I can't go into any further detail, except to clarify that no, he did not have sex with Alec Baldwin. Sorry.

Also, that reminds me: If even half of what my friend Jeremy claims is true, then I've been giving you women faaar too much credit. Seriously ladies, there's no way you could collectively be that stupid. This is my friend Jeremy we're talking about. Christ, at least have a conversation with the guy first - get to know him. Maybe you'll see what I mean.

(Plus, it's only a matter of time before he's pulling a Mark Foley on some unsuspecting Lacrosse player.)
I had a small lizard houseguest abiding in my apartment yesterday, as if the ongoing suffocating oppressive heat weren't enough of a reminder I live in a desert. Sadly, my spontaneous conservationist catch-and-release program did not go as smoothly as planned, and the poor fucker could barely slither along once I finally trapped him and let him out the back door. Did you know lizards' tails keep twitching for awhile after they fall off? Me neither!

*sigh* You know what sounds awesome right now? a FUCKING CITY!
Nameless pummeling me like an abused puppy Saturday after we watched the Dodgers triumphantly clinch the Wild Card and celebrate and trample on the Giants' home field. "Pac Bell," or "AT&T" or ... some stupid phone company. I dunno. Point is, it doesn't hold a candlestick to the goodness that is Chavez Ravine.

What, like I wasn't gonna rub this in her face? Who exactly do you take me for? It was seriously worth every punch, pinch, bite, hair-pull, and threat to either seriously dismember or destroy me.

Dodgers. Giants. Giants. Dodgers. Ours is an unholy union...

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm due for my dialysis.

:: HOME :: GET EMAIL UPDATES :: The Desert Sun :: J-school :: Undergrad :: Hoya Saxa :: The Other Dark Continent :: Greatest Sports Franchise Ever :: Bill Simmons - Sports Guy Home Page :: Laker Jim's Kurt Rambis Page :: Dodger Blues Dot Com :: This American Life :: Slate :: NOVICA.com :: Racist Big East Semi Final Loser :: Karen Warrior-Chieftain :: Sara Global :: Kirty Word :: Award-winning Pointlessness :: The Ultimate Douchebag :: RM :: Miss E's Opinions :: Dad's book ::

2006-10-02 6:44 PM The Lizard King. Previous Entry :: Next Entry Read/Post Comments (20) Share on Facebook	Goodness! It's been quite awhile, hasn't it? Well, the good news is we're still getting triple-digit temperatures and it's OCTOBER FUCKING FIRST! AAAGH! FUCK YOU!! AAARRGG!! Let's see, a brief recap of recent highlights ... since it's 6:52 p.m. and there's poker to be played: Boozemyer's bachelor party up in Santa Barbara. (Sub)highlights included a true sex-related story involving one of my buddies that resulted in Alec Baldwin getting stuck with a $10,000 property damage bill. I can't go into any further detail, except to clarify that no, he did not have sex with Alec Baldwin. Sorry. Also, that reminds me: If even half of what my friend Jeremy claims is true, then I've been giving you women faaar too much credit. Seriously ladies, there's no way you could collectively be that stupid. This is my friend Jeremy we're talking about. Christ, at least have a conversation with the guy first - get to know him. Maybe you'll see what I mean. (Plus, it's only a matter of time before he's pulling a Mark Foley on some unsuspecting Lacrosse player.) I had a small lizard houseguest abiding in my apartment yesterday, as if the ongoing suffocating oppressive heat weren't enough of a reminder I live in a desert. Sadly, my spontaneous conservationist catch-and-release program did not go as smoothly as planned, and the poor fucker could barely slither along once I finally trapped him and let him out the back door. Did you know lizards' tails keep twitching for awhile after they fall off? Me neither! sigh You know what sounds awesome right now? a FUCKING CITY! Nameless pummeling me like an abused puppy Saturday after we watched the Dodgers triumphantly clinch the Wild Card and celebrate and trample on the Giants' home field. "Pac Bell," or "AT&T" or ... some stupid phone company. I dunno. Point is, it doesn't hold a candlestick to the goodness that is Chavez Ravine. What, like I wasn't gonna rub this in her face? Who exactly do you take me for? It was seriously worth every punch, pinch, bite, hair-pull, and threat to either seriously dismember or destroy me. Dodgers. Giants. Giants. Dodgers. Ours is an unholy union... Now if you'll excuse me, I'm due for my dialysis. Read/Post Comments (20) Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top
:: HOME :: GET EMAIL UPDATES :: The Desert Sun :: J-school :: Undergrad :: Hoya Saxa :: The Other Dark Continent :: Greatest Sports Franchise Ever :: Bill Simmons - Sports Guy Home Page :: Laker Jim's Kurt Rambis Page :: Dodger Blues Dot Com :: This American Life :: Slate :: NOVICA.com :: Racist Big East Semi Final Loser :: Karen Warrior-Chieftain :: Sara Global :: Kirty Word :: Award-winning Pointlessness :: The Ultimate Douchebag :: RM :: Miss E's Opinions :: Dad's book ::