Precisely!

The only part of Bush's speech Monday I caught live, while listening on the way to the world's longest planning commission meeting, was probably the strangest.

First, he applauds my fellow alum, Dikemebe Mutombo of NBA and "Who wants to sex Dikembe!" fame, for his efforts to bring better healthcare to Africa. Dikembe's been very selfless and charitable ... but if this is the portion of the show where we honor the efforts of Joe and Jane America, I'm wondering if profiling a gadzillionaire athlete is really the best pick. Must be a Republican thing.

Then, on to the next American hero gadzillionaire: The chick who created Baby Einstein? Really? Should we really salute the lady who created a multimillion dollar industry out of warping babies' minds, assimilating them to worship the lukewarm, brain-mushing TV light?

Now, I'm not a parent ... as far as any of us know. So I don't wanna judge. But the first time I saw a mom plop her twins in front of Baby Einstein, it struck me as very Matrix-like.

I'm already morbidly addicted to television waves, and that's with parents who tried desperately (and futilely) to get me involved in everything. I can't imagine how much worse I'd be if my mom plopped my infant chair in front of a TV all day. My brain would be fried worse than Ray Fiennes' in Strange Days.

But in the Bush-Cheney era, this is the "entrepenurial spirit" we should all emulate. Awesome.

I swear, I was gonna blog about this - really. But apparently I'm special just like everyone else cause Timothy Noah beat me to the punch and it's even worse than I thought. Christ.

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In other news, Nameless texted me the other night demanding a new post that did not center on "work, sports, video games or politics."

Naturally, I texted back asking "what else is there in life."

To which she replied: "Luv, art, music, theater, humor, family, irony ... need I go on?"

It seems, ladies and gentlemen, that Nameless has mistaken me for a Greek muse. So, I figured this would be a great time to start a list of things never discussed on DickieCronkite.com:

1. Love
   
2. Art
   
3. Music (unless it's good, trashy music)
   
4. Theatre (note spelling)
   
5. Humour (ditto)
   
6. Family
   
7. Irony
   
8. Poetry
   
9. Bunny rabbits
   
10. Amaretto-filled chocolate candies (mmm...yummy!)
    
11. "Feelings"
    
12. Silk sheets
    
13. Brad Pitt
    
14. Desperate Housewives
    
15. Grey's Anatomy
    
16. shoes
    
17. Figure skating (sorry Jed)
    
18. Bridget Jones' diary
    
19. Veganism (unless you're ripping it)
    
20. Oprah's book club
    
21. Oprah-anything, actually
    

Anyhow, there's my new, unique post. I gotta work, so there's plenty I might have forgotten. Feel free to add suggestions.