So it rained buckets last night, which is pretty rare for God's Country East. In one watering, we got more rainfall than we did all last year. Streets flooded ... Betty the 4-Runner got sprayed with muddy water on the drive home, eliminating the natural car wash. Oh well.

Nameless just sent an "i miss u" text and then for some reason that techno "I miss you like the deserts miss the rain" song popped in my head. Based on my two years living in a desert ... that song is complete bullshit. Deserts don't miss the rain. In fact, they've carved a cottage industry out of not-missing rain.

People move here precisely to avoid the rain. Local municipalities invest millions of dollars in engineering projects to cope with several days of rain per year, which the deserts can't handle. Rain completely fucks everything up here!

Somebody needs to punch whoever wrote that song in the face.

That said, it was really nice to see a decent rainshower for the first time in forever. You lucky people who live, oh, everywhere else on the planet don't know what that's like. My Bangladeshee readers are likely pissed at those insensitive comments. And I also miss Nameless.



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Watching the end of USC/UCLA - and probably the end of Karl Dorrell's career. The two teams have combined for about 37 fumbles on the day (mostly UCLA), and watching all those replays makes me wonder:

Why is it so goddamn hard for football players to fall on a football?

Look, I understand you've got large, ill-tempered opponents about to pounce. But still, how many times do you see a linebacker with no one nearby blindly lunge at the ball like a walrus? Why does this always happen? Why don't coaches say, "Take a split second - and only a split second - to gather yourself and accurately fall on the ball"? This is a very important issue. Somebody should hire me as football's first fumble-recovery coach, sort of a special teams coach spinoff. I could make millions.

Rodney Pete introduced USC's players for the TV audience. And for UCLA? None other than ... Rob Reiner. WTF? I guess Tommy Maddox had a prior engagement. Needless to say, SC killed UCLA.


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Check out this Tim Rutten piece on last week's CNN Republican debate. Whoa, bitch slap! I think I heard somewhere that Rutten went to my high school. That's encouraging, on some level. I'd be curious to know how much this has resonated nationally, if at all.

One concern, though: Sure, CNN's quality and credibility has sunk in recent years. But are we being too critical of them while giving ratings-heavyweight Fox News a pass? Fox News has been ridiculous and partisan from the start, but does that mean we just chuckle and dismiss them while holding CNN"s feet to the fire? Besides, the only reason CNN's quality is sinking is because their ratings are sinking to Fox News. Maybe we should hit harder at the source.

In any case, I'm guessing CNN doesn't hire Tim Rutten any time soon.


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Speaking of priorities, I caught this wacky HBO documentary last night on PETA and its founder, Ingrid Newkirk. It includes some dissenting voices from more moderate animal rights workers, but it's a puff piece. My guess is HBO brass green-lit this for Bill Maher - he's got a successful show on the network and also happens to be a PETA board member. That's disappointing cause HBO usually produces intelligent stuff. And I like Maher's show; I can't understand why he's all PETA.

I'm fascinated by PETA. They're ripe with interesting contradictions.

They're marketing geniuses. They're batshit crazy. (I probably just offended them using the word "batshit.")

They're a household name, raising global awareness and important questions in an age of problematic factory farming. They've marginalized the animal rights movement: Self-righteous clowns perform goofy storefront stunts, and their advertisements deeply offend by comparing cruelty to animals with cruelty to humans. Look:

• I'm all for treating animals with the dignity they deserve and think people who wear fur are assholes. But I enjoy a good steak.
  
  
• I don't think cosmetic companies should test on animals. No animal should die so you can look pretty. But I appreciate the medical advances through animal testing that have allowed me to live a healthier life.
  
  
• I hope the feds throw the book at Mike Vick. But I think dogs and cats make great pets who lend a little joy and companionship to lonely people, especially your garden-variety unabomber types.

Are those contradictions? PETA thinks so. They think a whole lot more, too. You could write a book about their philosophy, poking holes in their logic. Basically, as one critic in the documentary (briefly) points out, PETA aims to remove animals completely from us wicked humans so they can live pain-free happy lives. "What did animals ever do to us?" is the logic, I guess.

...what about thousands of years of animal domestication, for starters? Do we just release domestic dogs, cats, birds, etc. to their own devices? To some Disney animal utopia? Perhaps Newkirk should get eaten by a bear. That might raise some follow-up questions among PETA folk.

And what drives the average PETA supporter? I think the group plays up the elimination of pain and suffering well and that has a lot to do with its popularity. It plays on people's deepest fears. It gives them an outlet, to cope - to solve. Tear down the slaughterhouses and the labs - I don't want to wind up in a slaughterhouse! Again, genius marketing.

Newkirk is smart and eloquent, but clearly there are some screws loose. Obsessed is an understatement. When she dies, her flesh is to be used for a "human barbecue" and skin to go towards leather products. It's a creepy, powerful political statement ... but even creepier is how casually and frequently she brings it up in the show. I doubt most of us are that fixated with our deaths - much less barbecueing ourselves. And how about moving some of that compassion from the turkeys to the suffering in a Darfur, an Iraq?

There's great unintentional comedy when Newkirk holds a press conference on PETA's latest investigation into an Arkansas ConAgra turkey farm. The conditions were deplorable. Unfortunately, only a couple of reporters showed up - there are these lonely rows of empty seats. But Newkirk treats it like a crowded White House briefing. It reminded me of that scene in Spinal Tap, when Nigel's left the band and they're opening for a puppet show at Six Flags.

Now if you'll excuse me, my filet mignon is ready, courtesy of Mamma Dickie's frozen goods care package . I think I overcooked it writing this blog. Great, thanks PETA!


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Oh, real fast - Why is this the first time I'm listening to Rilo Kiley? Great stuff, if you haven't checked 'em out download a few songs from iTunes - it won't disappoint. Fun, poppy indie music from ... the former kid stars of Troop Beverly Hills and Boy Meets World. I know, weird. A little embarrassing even. But dope!