Jeff Findel's

This last December I came down with a bizarre medical condition that, for lack of a better term, I have dubbed perma-sickness. It started when I was stricken with flu-like symptoms that where apparently, well, the flu. From then until finally about, hmm maybe last week, I was continually barraged by sicknesses including, dizziness, coughing, chills, stomach pains and whatnot. It�s always the whatnot that�s the worst�

Since I work in a super-secretive internet-surfing government agency, they (the US government among others) will disavow any knowledge of my employment should hospitals contact them regarding injury, sickness, carpel tunnel syndrome or any other treatable yet highly expensive conditions.

In short, I have no health coverage

Upon arrival to the ultra-intensive special care healing facility, the ~~7-eleven assistant manager~~, err, um, doctor, advised me that tests, treatment, consultation, discussion and/or feigned interest by a medical professional would be highly expensive (duh) and so therefore prescribed an experimental treatment of four Benadryl per day and a bill for $200.

Not surprisingly, neither remedy made any positive headway in combating my viral viruses

My delirious, Benadryl-enhanced consciousness concocted a universal theory explaining my sickness � it was weather induced. AHA! As soon as fair weather returns, my Perma-sickness will fade like a forty-year-old actress�s stage opportunities!

Shit! I realized; I live in Michigan�

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2004-04-29 2:58 PM Perma Sickness Previous Entry :: Next Entry Mood: Well (mentally and physically) Read/Post Comments (0) Share on Facebook	This last December I came down with a bizarre medical condition that, for lack of a better term, I have dubbed perma-sickness. It started when I was stricken with flu-like symptoms that where apparently, well, the flu. From then until finally about, hmm maybe last week, I was continually barraged by sicknesses including, dizziness, coughing, chills, stomach pains and whatnot. It�s always the whatnot that�s the worst� Since I work in a super-secretive internet-surfing government agency, they (the US government among others) will disavow any knowledge of my employment should hospitals contact them regarding injury, sickness, carpel tunnel syndrome or any other treatable yet highly expensive conditions. In short, I have no health coverage Upon arrival to the ultra-intensive special care healing facility, the ~~7-eleven assistant manager~~, err, um, doctor, advised me that tests, treatment, consultation, discussion and/or feigned interest by a medical professional would be highly expensive (duh) and so therefore prescribed an experimental treatment of four Benadryl per day and a bill for $200. Not surprisingly, neither remedy made any positive headway in combating my viral viruses My delirious, Benadryl-enhanced consciousness concocted a universal theory explaining my sickness � it was weather induced. AHA! As soon as fair weather returns, my Perma-sickness will fade like a forty-year-old actress�s stage opportunities! Shit! I realized; I live in Michigan� Read/Post Comments (0) Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top
:: HOME :: GET EMAIL UPDATES :: Slate :: New York Times :: The Economist :: Guardian :: Hindustan Times :: Japan Times :: Mirth Musings and More! :: Yin Blog :: Hunkabutta :: Healing Iraq :: Kontraband (not entirely work safe!) :: Worth 1000 :: The GripBoard :: The Power and Bulk Message Board! :: EMAIL ::