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This just in from Jim Rome:

Moises Alou has a special way of hardening his hands so he doesn�t get blisters from swinging a baseball bat. Alou is one of only a handful of players in the Major Leagues who does not wear batting gloves. So he has developed a home therapy that helps the calluses on his hands stay hard. He urinates on them. Yeah. according to a note in Gary Miller�s column on ESPN, he urinates on his hands to keep them tough and hard�

So for those of you in Chicago, or those of you attending a game when the Cubs are in town, you might want to skip asking Ol� Moises for an autograph. You might want to focus on the other players instead. He urinates on his hands? That�s nice and sanitary. And you know what? I take it all back. Forget I ever mentioned this. I don�t want to hear your emails about who puts what on their hands for what purpose. I don�t want your Pee Wee Herman emails. I don�t want your Najeh Davenport emails. I don�t want your George Michael emails. You are not funny. Do me a favor and forget that I ever brought it up. Forget that you now know that Moises Alou urinates on his hands. And maybe he should start urinating on his glove. Maybe if he had soaked his glove, he would have been able to wrestle that ball away from Bartman last October. Maybe he should try that come this October.

Does that even work? I mean, I�m not always 100% accurate yet I don�t seem to especially tough hands. But wait, really soak in the importance of this message; he couldn�t just like pee on his hands and then wash them off that would never work. No, the man�s gotta sit on the couch with his hands in a bowl of urine for a half hour while he watches �friends� or something.

What if he has an itch?

Does he snack during this time too? Does it matter if the urine is warm or does he cool it off in the fridge before hand; wait, what am I saying it�s gotta be fresh right? Stale urine just wouldn�t have the same effect. Does it matter if it�s even his urine? I mean, I�m sure he afford to ship in some extra potent Barry Bonds urine...

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2004-05-06 4:27 PM Secrets of Major League Ballplayers Previous Entry :: Next Entry Mood: Pissed Read/Post Comments (1) Share on Facebook	This just in from Jim Rome: Moises Alou has a special way of hardening his hands so he doesn�t get blisters from swinging a baseball bat. Alou is one of only a handful of players in the Major Leagues who does not wear batting gloves. So he has developed a home therapy that helps the calluses on his hands stay hard. He urinates on them. Yeah. according to a note in Gary Miller�s column on ESPN, he urinates on his hands to keep them tough and hard� So for those of you in Chicago, or those of you attending a game when the Cubs are in town, you might want to skip asking Ol� Moises for an autograph. You might want to focus on the other players instead. He urinates on his hands? That�s nice and sanitary. And you know what? I take it all back. Forget I ever mentioned this. I don�t want to hear your emails about who puts what on their hands for what purpose. I don�t want your Pee Wee Herman emails. I don�t want your Najeh Davenport emails. I don�t want your George Michael emails. You are not funny. Do me a favor and forget that I ever brought it up. Forget that you now know that Moises Alou urinates on his hands. And maybe he should start urinating on his glove. Maybe if he had soaked his glove, he would have been able to wrestle that ball away from Bartman last October. Maybe he should try that come this October. Does that even work? I mean, I�m not always 100% accurate yet I don�t seem to especially tough hands. But wait, really soak in the importance of this message; he couldn�t just like pee on his hands and then wash them off that would never work. No, the man�s gotta sit on the couch with his hands in a bowl of urine for a half hour while he watches �friends� or something. What if he has an itch? Does he snack during this time too? Does it matter if the urine is warm or does he cool it off in the fridge before hand; wait, what am I saying it�s gotta be fresh right? Stale urine just wouldn�t have the same effect. Does it matter if it�s even his urine? I mean, I�m sure he afford to ship in some extra potent Barry Bonds urine... Read/Post Comments (1) Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top
:: HOME :: GET EMAIL UPDATES :: Slate :: New York Times :: The Economist :: Guardian :: Hindustan Times :: Japan Times :: Mirth Musings and More! :: Yin Blog :: Hunkabutta :: Healing Iraq :: Kontraband (not entirely work safe!) :: Worth 1000 :: The GripBoard :: The Power and Bulk Message Board! :: EMAIL ::