Jeff Findel's
Pastrami On Wry


Fuck the robin!
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Mood:
Militant

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Guess what the state bird of Michigan is? That’s right, the robin, just like some 3 other states. I say fuck the robin; I’m with these people!

The robin has had a stranglehold over the state bird title for too long now. The Kirtland’s Warbler is native to Michigan, which the robin is NOT and the Kirtland’s Warbler is totally more endangered while the robin is horribly overpopulated.

I’m urging action!

If you live in Michigan (or even if you don’t, what do I care?):

  1. Call your local senator’s office. Make sexually suggestive noises into the phone until he/she agrees to hear your complaint.

  2. Get a hold of their e-mail address and spam them relentlessly! Sign them up for free email newsletters for NAMBLA or for free porn updates on geriatric/beastiality sites.

  3. Send them a personal letter, be polite, but make sure that jackass knows you won’t stand for this shit!

  4. Use lots of aliases in your letters/calls, that way they will think there are many supporters of this initiative, and not just you.

And one more thing; refrain in the meantime from applying poisons or pellet-gun pellets to known robin nesting areas. We don’t want to create a wave of public sympathy for robins, the flying disease bags, and the cops always assume it’s me…


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