Wow. Unbelievable. This pegged me down to a T:

The name Jennifer creates a dual nature in that you can be very generous and understanding, but you can also be so candid in your expression that you create misunderstanding. You struggle with the requirement to soften your expression with tact and diplomacy and to consider the feelings of others. Difficulty in accepting advice or admitting that you may have made a mistake causes you to appear to be stubborn and set in your ways. Thus, you have too often created the wrong impression, and friendships have suffered. This name does offer creative talent where there is the opportunity for ingenuity and originality. You have a tendency, at times, to have too many ideas on the go, and thus your efforts are scattered and many things do not reach completion. You are inclined to do to excess the things you like to do. You have very intense feelings and find it difficult to maintain stability and happiness. If you allowed it, temper and self-pity could be problems. Tension could cause nervous disorders, or centre in the head bringing weaknesses in the eyes, ears, sinuses, or teeth.

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Okay, the one for my middle name is right in some aspects, but isn't as EXACTLY on target as my first name:

Your name of Lea makes you very idealistic and generous, with the strong desire to uplift humanity leading you into situations where you can express your desire to serve others. You want to assume responsibilities and to look after people; however, you can become too involved in other people's problems and tend to worry. Your name gives you a natural desire to express along artistic and musical lines. You desire a settled home and family life, and are expressive and attentive to your loved ones. You must be careful not to become possessive and jealous of those close to you, however, as you could attract losses and unfortunate experiences. If you attach an ideal of service to your life, you could find great happiness and could express a very beautiful, happy, responsible, artistic, and generous nature. The weakness of this name is in worry, which in turn affects the nervous system, creating a tendency to be highly strung or over-sensitive to the thoughts of others.

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Damn, this thing is good:

The name of Bollinger has created a congenial nature with the desire to associate in friendship and understanding both socially and in the business world. Peaceful and settled conditions appeal to you and you are naturally desirous of having the security of a home, where your life could follow a definite pattern, and where you would not have to make major decisions. You find it difficult to take a definite stand, partly because you lack confidence, and also because you dislike any issues which create dissension between people. Procrastination is a weakness of your nature, causing an inability always to complete your plans or to concentrate for long. You need to see a concept presented completely in detail before you can understand it, and if you cannot understand it, you come to your own conclusion and often fail to listen to and reason out another's point of view. You resist being forced into change and could become almost impervious to new ideas. You desire refinement, understanding, and appreciation, yet sometimes your outward attitude does not reveal your innermost feelings, and thus you have never felt truly understood. Your name has given you a desire for heavy, rich foods, which cause sluggish digestion. You could suffer with constipation, stomach, or intestinal disorders, or disturbances in the fluid functions of the body.
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I got this from: http://www.kabalarians.com/