I'm currently sitting in the law school cafeteria (which smells like a rotted dumpster) drinking some coffee and checking my e-mail. Low and behold I come across this week's career services news letter. Due to the fact that they're finally starting to realize that the vast majority of people who will be graduating in one month have no job prospects, they decided to give us a helping hand. After all, career services is there to aid us in finding a job. And armed with these helpful hints I'm sure that the 80-some percent of us without any job prospects will find post graduate employment within the next month.

Here are the helpful hints from Pepperdine's career services:
1. Visualize where you want to go.
2. Believe that you can do it.
3. Develop a plan to get there.
4. Take action; do something to break the inertia.
5. Review your actions. If they are not bringing the results you want, change the actions until the desired results are forthcoming.
6. Persist and stay determined.

Wow, with advice like this how can I not find a job before I graduate?

Okay, so, yes, I am being sarcastic. But that's really their advice. Can I kill them now? Cause I think I have a small army to back me up. Fuckers.

Weight lost on my infomercial diet so far: 5 lbs.
Days on the diet: 21.

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I'm getting there. I don't suck, but I've got a ways to go.

Not too bad, but you can do better. Keep working on it- maybe try kicking a few guys wherever you want to, then start lighting them on fire. Slow and steady wins the race, okay? You've got a long way to go, but I think you'll survive.