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Beyond Stressed and Nervous

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Last night I had to take a pill just to get some sleep, and even then I didn't fall asleep until around 6am. I woke up with my heart racing and in a cold sweat.

I've felt really nervous / sick / jittery all day so far and as time moves on it's just getting worse. What the hell is up with putting the results up at 6pm? Are these people sadists who get pleasure knowing that today is going to make everyone who took the July California bar nervous and unproductive all day long? They so should have put it up in the morning. Better to have a crappy or wonderful day knowing the results then to have a day ruined by nervousness and stress.

Ugh. I feel like I'm going to pop. I wish I could have had plans with friends or done something today to take my mind off of this. Sitting around the house waiting is making me go insane. I need to be with someone or do something. My heart condition doesn't always act up, but today I've had several palpatations and my chest is all achey. The stress is killing me. I need to know - either way I need to know.

I know there's only a little over two hours left, but the closer it gets to the time the worse I get. I just want it over and done with.

As a heads up, there's a good chance I won't answer the phone tonight unless you're Carrie (who went through this hell with me) or my Mom (who came out here to support me while I was taking the bar). So, if you want to know what my results are, log on here. They *will* be posted either way, no matter what the result.

I really hope I pass. I need a job desperately and I don't want to have to take that damn thing over again. Cross your fingers for me and send good vibes my way around 6pm tonight. I'm gonna need it.


You're like a Dragon!

?? Which Mythical Creature Are You ??
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