I currently have a wee bit of time online so I thought I'd post. I desperately need a shower, but can't take one until Gabriel is sound asleep. He's currently awake in his bassinet and taking a breather between crying rounds to suck on his pacifier and watch his mobile. If I'm in here I can respond to a cry very quickly, but can't do much of anything if I'm in the shower. And so I'll wait until he either falls asleep or until Rob is home from work to shower. Whichever comes first.

Things are rough. He's crying most of the time which not only gives me no time to do anything like shower or even go to the bathroom, but it can also get extremely irritating when he's crying nonstop all day. I love him so much, but I just don't know what to do. It's near impossible to handle this on my own every day. I'm afraid that after awhile I'll totally freak out and have a breakdown especially if I don't get some decent sleep in. Ugh. For now I'm not near break down territory, but I am mentally and physically exhausted.

Rob spoke with the pediatrician's office today. We can try infant gas drops or gripe water. They think gripe water works better, but it's harder to find. He'll probably pick up whatever he can find at the drug store on the way home from work tonight. He should at least be able to get the gas drops. If we need the gripe water and can't find it we can check for it on the weekend. I desperately need his help here so he's just going to do a quick run to the drug store across the street and not all over the place in search of the gripe water. If you know any place that sells that gripe water stuff please let me know.

If the infant gas drops or the gripe water works then is looks like the problem was just gas. I'm thinking that's it because he farts up a storm during his crying fits. If it doesn't help then we have a very colicky baby and things aren't going to get any better for the next few months.

My incision still hurts. The outside part kind of stings but when Rob looked at it he says it looks all right and not infected. Though he also did say I'm pretty black and blue around the incision wound. The inside also hurts and I have a feeling that everything I need to do in the day with the baby isn't helping matters. I'd probably heal a lot faster if I had the time to rest and wasn't carrying the baby around, but I really have no choice. I still have to sleep on my back and on a wedge because lying flat on my back or on my side still really hurts. The healing time for a c-section sucks more than I can say.

For a small moment today I thought he was going to sleep so I made myself a bowl of Cheerios. He woke up right after and so I got to try and eat some soggy cereal while holding a screaming baby. The only food I'm getting when I'm here alone are handfulls of cereal while heating his bottle. I don't even have the time to eat. Heh. Looks like having a screaming newborn in the house might be a good diet.

Right now I'm just hoping that everything (from my incision to my lack of sleep to the constantly crying baby) will get better down the road. It will... right???

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