I am completely exhausted, both mentally and physically. I've been up since 7:30am which seems to be the time when Gabriel decides to go into a crying fit and freak out. Oddly enough it's also shortly after Rob leaves for work. Maybe he misses his Daddy?

Today has been a very bad day. Gabriel won't stop crying. I've changed his diaper several times (both poo and pee), fed him, rocked him, etc. The first time he even slept today was around 4:15pm. That was around when I was able to log on. I thought maybe I'd have a bit of time to get some things done on here, but I was wrong. Just as I started this entry he started crying again. So, I'll be writing this as I have the time.

I don't know what's wrong with him, but he keeps freaking out. I'd like to help him, but I can't when I don't know what's wrong. I can't wait until Rob gets home. If he doesn't mind I'll see if I can squeeze in a half hour nap or so and have him watch Gabriel. Cause I'm about to pass out from sheer exhaustion. A few more days of this and I have a feeling the sleep deprivation hallucinations will be coming. No joke. Once in law school I had been up for three days straight when I started freaking out because those evil toy monkeys that clap their cymbols together started singing the "cheer up sleepy Jean" verse of "Daydream Believer" to me over and over. That's when Rob forced me to get some sleep even though I needed to study for finals. It was a good idea because I wasn't having weird ass hallucinations during my finals. When my Mom was out here right after Gabriel was born she was up for five days straight. She started seeing a big yellow cat with red eyes over LA and whales in my living room. So yeah, with my lack of sleep and having to constantly try to soothe a freaking out baby I'm probably going to enter hallucination territory if I don't get some rest.

Being a Mom is hard. Especially when I'm the only one to take care of a screaming baby all day long. It's a lot harder than I ever thought it would be. It's also very rewarding and I'm glad Rob and I have Gabriel, but I can't wait until he's a little older and can tell me what's wrong so I know how I can help him.

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The Caretaker
You scored 112!

You do belong here - for other reasons than those who scored lower than you. You seem to be a truly open minded, caring and intelligent individual - with ideals and ideas for the well-being of everyone. Please have a lot of children and raise them in your spirit.

Do you belong here?