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There are a few things I forgot to mention in my previous entry. I looked on the back of the Capricorn and Taurus needlepoints and saw that they were made by Eleanor! I never knew that. One is dated May 1968 and the other is July 1968.

They smell like her old place. Not the nursing home and not the assisted living apartment... but the place she lived in on Crest drive in Muskego all when I was growing up. I can't believe how giddy I got over something like a smell. But they smell great and that smell brings back so many memories. I wish I could bottle it or keep it from fading. I know over time the smell will fade, but now whenever I open my closet I get a draft of that scent. What I wouldn't give to go back in time just for one day and be with her again in that house.

I have never felt pain like I'm feeling now. My body constantly aches and I'm always tired. I'm also having problems eating. But the eating part is probably a good thing.

Oh, and we got home from the memorial service to find out that our hot water heater had died and we had no hot water.

My Mom headed back home yesterday morning.

Yesterday we took Gabriel over to the pediatrician's office for his flu shot. It was quick and easy and Gabriel was super pissed off yesterday. Today's he's not feeling well from it.

After his appointment we went to the gravesite of Harold and Eleanor. I was very upset with what I saw. Obviously, no one has visited it in ages. There were tree branches and bushes overgrowing the headstone. I'm going to head back there before the winter kicks in and cut those branches away. If no one is taking care of it, then I sure as hell will. I'm more than willing to take the upkeep of their gravesite onto myself. It's the least I could do for the both of them.

The stone doesn't have Eleanor's year of death cut into it yet. I know that takes time so I'll give it a few weeks before checking into it.

The thing that shocked me the most... was that Eleanor wasn't there. My dad said that the hole had been dug and the funeral home said that they would be taking the urn over to the cemetary around noon and that she should be put into the ground shortly thereafter. I was there around 3:30pm and there wasn't even a hole. Nothing on that ground had been disturbed for a very long time. I have no idea what is going on with that. All I can think of is maybe the strong storms we have been having prevented it from being done? If there's no change on Monday or Tuesday I'll contact my Dad and aunt and see what the hell is going on.

After visiting the gravesite, we (Rob, Gabriel, and I) took a drive around Muskego. I wanted to see if I could find my grandmother's old house and drive by it and even see the playground I used to play at when I was a child. We got a little lost, but in the end it all came back to me and I was able to find her old house. I just stared at it and thought of better times. I miss her so much. We found the playground and when the weather is nicer we're bringing Gabriel there.

We spent all day today waiting for someone to come and look at our water heater. Something had popped inside of it and caused the circuit breaker to go off. We have hot water again, but it's scalding. We were told the guy would be here after 9am. I guess 6:30pm is technically after 9am. *sigh* The thermostat is cracked, there is water in the wires, and it's rusting through on the inside. The management company that owns our complex needs to okay a new water heater. We're hoping to get one on Monday.

"Pride can stand a thousand trials,
the strong will never fall.
But watching stars without you,
my soul cried.
Heaving heart is full of pain,
oh, oh, the aching...
Where are you now?
Where are you now?"


What Were You In A Past Life?
You were quite the introverted one, misunderstood and alone in your thoughts. You would stay up to three o clock in the morning with your pen, sharing your dreams and losses with your beloved journal. Your poems were inspiring mostly to your love interests. Your words were your weapon...weapon of love, that is.

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