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2009-10-23 1:00 PM Just 3 Days Previous Entry :: Next Entry Mood: *meep* Read/Post Comments (5) In just three days I'll be 35 years old. It does not seem like it's been five whole years since my 30th birthday, but, sadly enough, it has. Normally I get depressed when I have another birthday. I look it as being another year older and still a pathetic failure. Still no job. But not this year. This year, I don't want to get depressed just because I have yet to find a job when I have so many other wonderful things in my life which make me happy. Sure, I'm 35 and have no job, but if that's the worst that's happening to me then that's not so bad at all. My husband has a job and my parents are willing to help me when needed. I have a roof over my head, food in my stomach, a car of my own, can pay all my monthy bills, and am not in debt. That's a hell of a lot better than most other people are doing, especially in this economy. Sure, I can thank my parents for having all of that, and I do on a regular basis - but that doesn't make me pathetic or a loser. It means I'm having a hard time finding a job and have loving and supportive people around me who understand. My father is there for me financially and has been making an effort to see me and Gabriel more. I'm thankful for that. My mother is there for me financially, emotionally, and pretty much any way I need her. I couldn't have ended up with a better mom. Marriage has it's ups and downs, but Rob is there for me when I need him. We both know that marriage is not easy and needs to be worked at, and we're both willing to make this work. After being with him for 9 years and being married for 6 years I still love him. Gabriel is the best son I could have ever hoped for. To me, he is perfect. He's smart, athletic, has a sense of humor, and I see so much of me in him. He's the shining light in my life and makes me happy. He also gives me the self worth to know that while I might not be working right now, I can be a Mom to him and give him a head start on life. I can't say I haven't worked hard to be where I am. I have. I've gone through college and have a BFA in Cinema Television from USC. I've gone through law school and have a JD from Pepperdine. I'm a licensed attorney in both California and Wisconsin and passed both of those bar exams on the first shot. The job will come eventually, when it's meant to. So this year I'm not going to let getting older depress me. It's just a number. Yes, I will be 35 on Monday, but despite what some people say, I have accomplished a lot. I might not be where others are at this stage of life, but I'm right where I'm supposed to be. No more focusing on the bad or the lack of a job. It's time to focus on the good and the amazing things I do have in my life. I think 35 will be a good year for me. ----------
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