I keep sending resumes out and keep getting rejection letters (or nothing) back from it. Not one single phone call, not one single interview, not one single person who thinks I'm a worthy enough person to employ... nothing. For every resume that's sent out I either get ignored totally or a "thanks, but no thanks" response.

My best recent job prospects are dried up once more. Even the one that looked the most promising (and that I would have given anything to work for) at Rob's work didn't pan out. I got their rejection e-mail this morning.

I hate job hunting. Not only is it amazingly stressful, but it can also get you down when you keep realizing that you're just not good enough for anyone to want you.

I've tried applying for the bottom of the barrel jobs - nothing. I've tried applying for volunteer jobs - nothing. I really wish I could give a shot at a different career or go to med school, but I'm too old for that and I know there's no way I could afford any more schooling. And so, I keep trying to put my law degree and two state bar memberships to good use and make something of myself. And yet, nothing ever seems to come of it.

I wish I could go back in time and change my decision about law school. I wish I would have gotten a second undergrad degree in biology or pre-med and then applied to med schools. I have to think that finding a job as a doctor (especially my dream job of being an ER doctor) would have been a lot easier than this. Hell, almost anything would be.

People keep telling me that it will come in time. I'll find a job. When????? Or that this is meant to be. I don't buy that. Or that I'm meant to be with Gabriel during his formative years. Okay, but he's starting preschool soon and I still have nothing. Me? I think perhaps I'm cursed or something, how else can someone get not a single nibble when job hunting for so long?

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