I am in need of a new watch. My good watch kept eating batteries and had to be returned to its creator every time it died (something about needing to be resealed according to factory specs) and has been retired. My trusty Eddie Bauer watch has also given up the ghost and I’m too lazy to get the battery replaced. The Eddie Bauer online store doesn’t have any acceptable watches and the Eddie Bauer store in my mall closed without alerting me. Here are my requirements:

1. Watch should be round in shape.

2. Clearly marked hours – I don’t do well with time ambiguity (this rules out most of the Movados that meet all the other requirements)

3. Hours can be marked in Arabic numerals, Roman numerals, or little dashes. Diamonds are preferred.

4. Bracelet must be gold, or maybe gold and silver if it’s a striking design. No leather straps (on the watch, that is). No “gold tone”, which means cheap metal plated with some toxic combination of elements that will make me itch.

5. Clasp must be very easy to close and un-close (open, I guess that would be), but must not open of its own accord (this is rather like having a bra that goes “sproing” at inopportune moments).

6. Face should be mother-of-pearl.

7. Must be authentic (no knock-offs, which makes me suspicious of all the brands that claim they aren’t sold online at all, but show up at every online watch retailer. Raymond Weil, for example, claims they do not sell their watches on the “Internet network”. As opposed to the Outernet network. Or the Internet blueberry pie.).

Optional:
1. Diamond bezel.

Here is the one I want. Or this. Or even this.

This is the one I can afford. Life is so unfair.

(For some reason I can't get these links to work properly. If you right click on them and select Open they seem to function.)