"Verizon Communications said on Friday it does not and will not provide any government agency unfettered access to customer records..." (Reuters, 5.12.06) When pressed, however, spokesman Floyd M. Bupkus did admit that Verizon "pretty much thought that fettered access was a-okay. That does mean free and unrestrained, right?"

In other headlines, "Bears Eat Monkey in Front of Zoo Visitors". The Netherlands zoo stated that the sloth bears and Barbary macaques have lived together peacefully for many years, but that the "harmony was temporarily disturbed during opening hours on Sunday". I think the monkey might beg to differ with the "temporarily" characterization.

"Paul McCartney says he's upset by suggestions Heather Mills McCartney married him for his fortune." While humming "Will you still need me, will you still feed me, When I'm sixty-four?"

"FBI agents and local police were searching a Michigan horse farm Wednesday for the remains of former Teamsters union leader Jimmy Hoffa after receiving a tip about his disappearance, the agency said." Hoffa was 62 when he disappeared in 1975, younger than Paul McCartney is now.