Poor Pluto. I know how it feels. All alone out there in a Siberian orbit that’s only defined as being part of the solar system because of an infinitesimal gravitational attraction to the sun. Asked to vacate the planetary party with no more than a by-your-leave. It might as well have a sign on its door that says “Special Projects”, because we all know that’s just one step from “Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.” At least it didn’t get dumped by email like those hapless Radio Shack employees last week.

Rhode Island had better watch its back. I hear that the new “Dwarf State” designation is next.