I’d like to thank the Academy….

But really, it’s like someone read my notes about the outcome I wanted for US Nationals this year. Mostly.

I’m not a fan of the jumping boys, never have been, never will be. I acknowledge that skating is partly about jumps but Tim Goebel tired my ASS from day one as the guy who could do quad jumps AND NOTHING ELSE. He got fried for years over the fact that he was expected to do more for several minutes on the ice and once he got to the elite levels, was croggled to realize he had to learn how to skate. Snotty of me, I know but I remember enough interviews and commentary about how Tim G had to “change his program” to including spins and footwork and I’d always wonder “what the fuck was he doing up to NOW?” that he got to the Senior levels. And to his credit he did learn a fair amount, but still relied on the astonishing 4 revolutions in the air thing of a quad to carry him. And he’s older and he’s been dealing with an aging body, injury, gravity who knows? But a) he can’t do it anymore and b) the new scoring system credits the skater’s ability to do spins and footwork and all that stuff that the Tims and their coaches used to disdain. Tough. How does anyone GET to that level and not know what skating is?

Then there’s Michael (I’m straight) Weiss. I remember Michael (he’s really straight) Weiss from Nationals in 1995. He had a rabid following then and I wasn’t sure why (I remember discussions of fund-raising for the guy, maybe when I was on a skating discussion list, I don’t recall but I wondered “Why HIM?”) he was good in ’95, skated to Santana. But he didn’t knock me out. And I’ve been tired of him for years. Mostly tired of the seeming endless pr to ensure everyone knows that even though he’s a figure skater, HE’S STRAIGHT DAMMIT. For years, not a mention of Weiss (psst, look there's his wife) went by without a reminder that he was married. Then married with kids. His wife is his choreographer so it stands to reason she’d be mentioned but it seemed really tiresomely obvious. Other skaters are married. Some have kids (and Kristi Yamaguchi recently had an entire special about that, which rubbed me SO the wrong way, but that’s another day’s discussion) but with Weiss (I’m… well, er, you believe me, right?) is just seemed unending. And frankly, he’s never been that great for me; he was a national champion in a period when we didn’t have a lot of depth (sort of how I see Jill Trenary but never mind that reference.)

Did I mention Michael Weiss isn’t gay?

Johnny Weir won again. Deserved to. Damn he’s fine. And I admit to already being grossly tired of hearing how he’s such a maverick and he’s so odd. No one ever explains why. I’ve read interviews with the guy – he’s not Nuke LaLoosh, spouting every cliché you can cram into his head but SO? He’s a hugely talented skater. And apparently he doesn’t do what he’s told, or something.

The right guys won the mens event – Savoie had the skate of his lifetime, Lysacek showed what he can do and I’m happy. The women? I wanted to see better out of Czisny and Liang but put it down to having a bad day, which clearly Czisny had. She’s capable of better and we’ll see more of her, I assume. I hope.

I think the women are gonna get creamed at the Olympics by the Japanese anyway. But this was Nationals – NOT the Olympic Trials (ok it was but, Nationals will exist next year too, and these folks have Worlds to think about too.)

We do not have the depth of the Japanese womens line-up – some of, MANY of, the best women skaters of 3 and 4 years ago have disappeared. Skaters like Ann Patrice McDonough, and Deanna Stellato and Ye Bin Mok, Sara Wheat, Stacy Pengsen. And I don’t mean Nikodinov and Kirk and Corwin, who’s clearly done, but a couple years ago we had some fine fine skaters. One left and came back as a pair skater – and given that she had her partner have been together for like ten months, coming in 5th at Nationals, and looking VERY comfortable make me happy. So let’s seem more of - and I love the names - Naomi Nari Nam and Themistocles Leftheris. They won their regional event this year (scoring more than 23 points over the ones who came in second). How talented are they to do that that quickly?

And I always have liked Aaron Parchem and thought he had what it took, so I’m delighted to him and partner Marcy Hinzmann going to Torino. Their exhibition skate, btw, showed some really fine moves. And while I think Baldwin and Inoue are far from the best we have, I admit the hell out of them. I remember John the first eyar they won honestly saying they didn’t deserve it and they’ve worked their asses off to improve. And they’re cute as heck. I remember seeing John skating singles in San Jose in ’95. And they get points for solid behavior for donating all their 2004 performance fees for appearing in Champions on Ice (which I believe are substantial) to the Memorial Fund.

Although the current taste seems to go toward the Russian style again – and forgive me but I am so not taken by the Russians in either dance or pairs NOR the Bulgarians NOR the Ukrainians. I can’t track which is Totmianina and which is Petrova. I can’t tell Grushina/Goncharov from Navka/Kostmarov except that when Navka sits down, it’s next to her husband and I recognize Sasha Zhulin. I REALLY want the Germans to take pairs along with the Chinese.

And finally. It’s about that Peggy Fleming. She’s been hanging around with Dick for too long. I’ve ranted about him often. It was bad enough having to listen to him. But I counted on Saturday. And Peggy used the adjective “pleasant” for at least five women in a row. That is a Dick-ism; he pretends not to think a routine stinks by calling it “pleasant” and damning it with faint boredom. Now La Fleming has picked up this annoying tedious habit.

We can make rocket packs, why can’t we have a “music only” skating channel? (what? We DON’T HAVE ROCKET PACKS???)

And speaking of gossip, for those to whom this stuff is fun (MEEEE!!!) Did everyone know that
a) Jamie and David got married (that’s Sale and Pelletier, the Canadian pair) on December 30.) (wanna hear about the J & D bobblehead doll? Don’t I find the BEST stuff?)
b) Lu Chen married Denis Petrov –and they are living in China?
c) that Aaron Parchem is married to his choreographer – who is the former Polish champion Zuzanna Szwed?
b) Shae-Lynn Bourne married Nikolai “I choreograph EVERYONE” Morozov
c) Karen Kwan’s married to Peter Oppegard?

Okay, I’ll stop. Next week? Mythbusters.