I’ve been a fan since about 1973. I’m not afraid of the term, not offended by it, the way some people are. I don’t think of myself as a face-painting “fanatic” nor someone who stalks her fave actor from her fave show. I don’t mind being a “fan” within the genres of sf or mystery; it’s not an insult, it’s not implying I read “Photoplay” or write slash or fan fic (and even if I did, I would not apologize for it). I know people who are celebrity crazed and it makes my skin crawl I admit; people who collect Diana memorabilia make me uncomfortable. I’m not a fan of “celebrity” and think it’s totally creepy how the media has decided we care about some actor’s wifey having a baby and what it’s called. And I’ve had to defend the term “fan” to people – writers actually – who claim it denigrates their fans. I don’t notice them actually asking but I once wrote a long reply to a piece where someone said we should be referred to as “readers” and that it was unacceptable to use “fan”. It made me tired.

As a fan, a science fiction fan who went to her first convention – a STAR TREK convention– over 30 years ago – I have met swaths of great people, both professionals ranging from George Takei the actor to Isaac Asimov, from hip fans to editors, from those who transitioned from one to ‘tother. I did once count over 75 cons that I’d been to; most of them I worked in some capacity.

I am getting really tired of being educated as to what fandom is. To what conventions are, who they are for and how they are to be run. Those men (and they were all men weren’t they) who “met” years ago and started Woroldcon, those incredibly energetic people who for decades have populated this world, creating and designing conventions for book fans, tv show fans, movie fans, and gaming fans, from Prisoner conventions to DiscWorld conventions, from “Northern Exposure” to “Twin Peaks”, from regionals to world cons, from relaxacons where pretty much nothing happens to cons with eight tracks of program, they (WE) have been doing this for a very very very very long time. Not always right but we’ve done it.

So when the new kids on the block decide they have invented fandom or con-running or they are the first to ever decide that conventions should feature X or Y or Z ,that they know and understand why we do what we do without asking, reading up, knowing the history or even acknowledging that there IS history - ESPECIALLY when they tell us FANS why we run conventions, I get pissed off.

I dislike people speaking for me and telling me that we fans attend conventions for the “stars”, the professionals. That we fans get out of it the opportunity to be in the hallowed presence of our idols. That we do it to be around the writers we just adore. And we should ensure that the writers are treated as the gods they are. I get tired of being told things I don’t know, and don’t agree with. I have been told that I didn’t respect tradition when my convention did not give an award – the award had been “invented” the previous year. That definitely “peer” awards are more prestigious because “fan” awards are “popularity contests” – something that can’t be proven and has no true meaning, (what does “popularity contest” mean here?) but it considered a given fact.

On a list I recently joined – and suspect I will have to quit because if this IS the prevailing attitude, I don’t belong there and can’t stay – I was describing– for the first time for many – the mystery convention thing in telling them about Left Coast Crime. And someone asked if it was true that attendees who were on program had to pay their way. Well yeah. But attendees at MOST conventions have to pay their way.

Yes, some conventions do comp memberships and some refund memberships. Some will do so only if you are on X number of panels, like 3 or 4. Apparently some actually not only comp program participants but offer their partners reduced rates.

Okay that’s how some do it, but to be told that is standard, bugs me. Many conventions operate on shoestrings and some that were named in this discussion that do NOT do this are the big deals – Worldcon, WisCon. So it’s not standard practice. And to hear it offered that the given wisdom is to grant all “professionals” special status is incorrect, it’s bogus and if that’s how it is now, I quit.

It’s an insult - to me if you wanna know. The assumption that I, mere fan girl, glory in the glow of these authors who are so kind to interrupt their busy lives to brighten mine for a few hours. I get to pay to be among them, lucky me. Even though I often spend from one four hour “ops” shift to hundreds of hours working on the event. And don’t always get comped (several conventions now do “committee rates” and reimbursing volunteers is usually a very high priority. I believe that’s appropriate.)

I’ve worked on conventions since 1975 when I gofered at a Star Trek convention. I have gone from co-chair to gofer, security person to radio person, program planner to writer-of-goh-pieces for program books. I’ve spent hours protecting William Shatner and protecting art collections, amusing my rovers with readings from the world’s worst fantasy story to having wind-up sushi races. My line has been “writers are my rock stars” to try and explain that I could care less about going to see the Stones in some arena where I’d be crushed, but dinner with Laura Lippman, or lunch with SJ Rozan, or coffee with Gayle Lynds rocks my world.

Gayle – she’s making some of this so much better. Gayle’s the guest of honor for the convention next year. Originally, it was Dennis and Gayle – you know probably that Dennis died suddenly last year. A major reason to pick guests of honor has to do with their contributions to the field. But another one is to enjoy the honor you are giving someone and frankly to have fun, make your life/job easier and pick people who GET it and who will make you and your convention look good.

When we invited the Kellermans to LCC in 97 there was no question of their value to our field, the contributions they’d both made. And they were fine guests – nice, easy charming polite. But they weren’t “family”. In the years since LCC I have never seen or spoken to them again; I called Faye once for a favor for (forgive the pathos) a dying friend; he was a big fan of Faye’s work as she knew, and he was in a hospice. I had hoped to reach her to get her latest book for him; I talked to an assistant and explained and never heard again. I am sure if I’d talked with Faye and reminded her of the guy, she would have gotten the address form me and had it sent the next day; but see, there’s the thing. She had people. The Kellermans don’t do Left Coast and Bouchercon; they have other priorities which – given the convention tends to be over a weekend and given they have kids and are religious and the Sabbath is important in their world, there just isn’t room for everything. But even then – when I asked who should write their program bio, they didn’t have list of buddies, they didn’t know who would be the right person because he’s a long time fan or a long time convention goer, everyone would know him. They weren’t part of that world. So this time round, it is so totally nice to have Gayle to talk with. Because she gets it – all of it. Back during Seattle Bouchercon planning days, I used to call our guest of honor Marcia from time to time with stories about how it was to plan a convention; I wasn’t the chair but the chair worked full time – almost everyone did but me - I had the time and I was doing program which puts you in touch with so many people so I was the message returner, the handler the first line of defense to a lot of people. By that time I’d known Marcia Muller as long as I’d known anyone in mystery, having met her in the mid 70s when I lived in Oakland, hung out with the sf crowd and on occasion the mystery crowd. Back when Bill was the honcho in charge of the local MWA – boy how THAT changed. And I call Gayle to see how she’s doing and tell her what we’re planning and is that okay, and she gets (far too much) insight into the convention planning process and she is so totally completely nice about fans and readers. I’ve told her about some the arrogance I’ve encountered over the years and it stuns her; she so understands that without us there’s not them and without them there’s no us – the them/us here being writers and readers. So I relax and I think “ah, this is easy everyone gets it and I won’t HAVE that hassle this time when the Big Deal calls and insists I put him on program” or someone tells me that I should be doing a writing track because they’re always done. Even if I don’t want to, it’s not required, this is a convention and no one is interested in taking that on. And no they are NOT always done; that’s why there are dozens of writer’s conferences. We don’t ALWAYS. And yes, I’ve already had that conversation too.

And then I hear about conventions where people have been “invited” which baffles me because in my experience, in all these years, conventions don’t “invite” people usually; you join, you go. And I hear that some apparently comp the pros, or at least the pros on program. I don’t know if they comp the fans on program.

A while back, when Norwescon tried to get me to be on program, I was told “all” I would have to do would be to appear on 4 program items and I’d get my membership reimbursed. Well, I wasn’t all that interested in going and con membership is always a huge expense for me. But 4 program items? And I saw the program and there weren’t 4 things I was conversant with. But he kept asking and apparently was trying desperately to get fans on some programs – some apparently realized they needed “fannish programming”. But I wasn’t any good at any of the proposed panels; I didn’t do a fanzine, and I wasn’t at all familiar with on-line sf fandom. Sure I’d been on compuserve years back but I didn’t know anything. And still he pushed. And I said no and I said I won’t come more than one day and I said I won’t be on a panel where I don’t know anything – which didn’t seem to matter to him he wanted me there anyway. JUST the kind of con programming we all HATE where no one knows what they’re doing on the dais, no one in programming knows who the people ARE or what they are conversant with and I should schlep to the airport 2 days in a row for this? Heh. And all those people got refunds? I hope they were better prepared than I would have been and got to be on programs where they actually KNEW something.

And I heard about cons that not only comp but give rates for someone’s partner. Nice. Where do they get the money?

Mystery conventions are DIFFERENT from sf in many ways. One major way is that few mystery conventions have 17 track programs and you can be on 3 programs a day. (I know – exaggeration here) The one I ‘m doing isn’t that big and having 6 or 8 tracks is DUMB (but I’ve seen it with conventions half the size) and you get 4 people on the dais and 3 in the audience and it’s all sparse and thin and uninteresting and it doesn’t work. Mystery doesn’t have gaming tracks and we don’t do a lot of the same stuff. We don’t have art shows and art tracks/panels; we don’t have a tradition of con-running/fannish programming so there isn’t a fan track though there may be some fannish programming. We don’t do filk, costumes, or gaming so we don’t have track/program about filk, costumes or gaming. We have sometimes a program or two about tv/movies but that’s it, just a panel or two. It’s about books. It’s men and women – few young people – talking about books. Earnestly. Often seriously, sometimes funny. There isn’t a tradition of fan to author too often not the way it is in sf where someone you knew as a fan got published, or is editing now, or IS an editor who never stopped seeing himself as a fan. There’s still a tiresome amount of explaining to do when someone says “you know what THEY oughta do? THEY oughta hold a X convention in “name-a-city” . no matter how much I explain – and I do constantly, there isn’t a clearer understanding that there is no THEY, that THEY is us. Us fans. Too many times they love us but they still don’t get it. I get tired of explaining. And of hearing how I’m a masochist, hah hah or didn’t I learn the last time har har.

And today I read someone saying that the general opinion which he shares is that the pro gets special consideration, special treatment, above and beyond because the pro is doing us a favor (I’m paraphrasing instead of quoting because I guess it would be unfair to quote someone who doesn’t know you are doing it, yes?) essentially because authors have to take the time away from their busy schedules to go to a convention and entertain us. It’s not enjoyable for them, of course. (ok he didn’t say that but he did say they took the time from their schedules). And because they have to pay their own way, the least we can do is give them free memberships.

As if a) all the staff/committee/volunteers are not doing any work and should not be honored/compensated considered (since it’s likely they are working 10, 50, 100 times more hours than you are on the panel you’re on. Unfair? To a degree yes but not completely. Some program participants never prepare, ever and don’t understand why they should.

I pointed out in a reply to this person that everyone who attends a convention is taking time from a schedule. People have kids, parents, jobs, errands to run, stuff to do; some have important jobs. We all know fans who are doctors and firefighters, EMTs and teachers, mothers and bus drivers. They too get to take time from their schedule to attend and they don’t GET to write off the expense of the con. And often they are experts enough to be on program, which they do because they want to share their knowledge. And they are not “professional program participants” and they don’t GET to write off the trip as publicity for their book. This person claimed that this was “general thinking” that the pros get this preferential treatment and freebies.

Convention membership money pays for EVERYTHING, rental and printing, food and microphones, websites and coffee service and ice and awards and programs, for ads in magazines, postage, and photocopies and furniture and phone bills and cell phones and beepers and radios and clipboards and pens and rental on a meeting space, and drapery and display cases and transportation of the awards and shipping and vans to move stuff in and out and video equipment and security and first aid kits and office supplies and shuttle buses and ribbons and badges and travel for the guests of honor. There are hundreds of daily expenses for a convention so no, we don’t “pay travel and hotel expenses” for people who very likely can file a tax return claiming the trip as a business expense, and YES we need that membership that this person thinks should be comped. Where do people think the money springs from? And if every person who is on a panel gets to come for free, this means the regular attending fan is not only paying but subsidizing someone else. Hey, if you want to pay for entertainment, you can go to a movie, or a comedy club, or the theater.

Back during Bouchercon, we had an author attendee who after the con wrote a piece for a British newspaper where he explained how writers hate going to conventions, hate signing autographs, hide away every chance they get so they don’t have to interact with fans. Yeah, he really did. I ripped him, as they say, a new asshole in my reply and I still resent the bastard. No one made him come to the convention, no one brought him in chains to an autograph session. Writers who don’t want to go to conventions tend not to go. So what? But this rude bastard tarred both fans and writers with his sneering superiority, seeing us all as horrible creepy misfits. Why would anyone do that? Does he not want people to actually read and/or buy his book? How can you be so purely rotten and nasty about the people who support you, make you able to cal yourself a writer, give you a livelihood? If you feel that way then what are you doing a) publishing your fabulous books (clearly you don’t need readers so just put ‘em in a drawer) or b) going to the convention? Stay the hell home where you won’t be bothered by the unwashed weirdos who actually think you have talent. Do you get that?

Do writers truly believe this “general knowledge”? Do they believe we fans are so swoony over them, so enamored of their preciousness that we work our asses off AND we don’t mind being treated somewhat as second-class citizens? That we pay our membership but the writers, who honor us by leaving their work and spending time among us should not have to pay their way?

I’m really really tired. I’ve got a landlady who is being so rude and pushy I’d like to move out of here but we can’t afford it. I’ve had it with the weather – hot miserable and headache-inducing so in the midst of dealing with this woman I’ve had migraines and Stu hasn’t slept well. And I really don’t want to read any more posts about the vast superiority of writers over readers and hear how it’s all about them and how grateful we should all be.