I have a big goofiness streak, or rather, I really seem to like a lot of funny goofy things, often going “oh, come ON, who came up with THAT?” and then, oh, my, deciding “I must have one!” and this is the time of year that seems to specialize in goofy.

I’m not talking (I hope) annoying goofiness. Singing fish or things that make noise whenever you look at them, oh ugh. I’m not sure how I even define that word but well, yuh know, I knows it when I sees it.

Years ago, a catalogue came from one of those preppy shoppes – not Beans or Lands End but another with hedgehog slippers. Ok? That’s goofy and I got 3 pair, replacing each pair with another when I wore them out. They stopped carrying them but thanks to the internet, I have spotted them again.

Here at the computer desk is probably one of the best collections of goofy stuff that we have chez roscoe. We have the counting sheep (#1; #8 sits on the tv in the living room) (if you don’t want television or don’t know the ads, these are from the Serta mattress company that ran a series of ads about putting sheep out of business with their great new mattresses. It wasn’t so much that – which was cute – it was that the sheep are Aardman Animation sheep (see “Wallace and Gromit” see, “Creature comforts” see “Chicken Run” and flat –out goofy. We have a dust puppy – a small black round furball with big feet. See “User Friendly” the comic strip. We have a soft toy felt kokopelli who sits on the upper shelf and whose legs hang over. We have a car and house trailer salt and pepper shaker that I just HAD to buy when I saw it in a catalogue years ago.

Of course there’s my thing for alternative action figures – librarians, baristas and Vincent van Gogh (comes with several paintings). And I’ve always had a love of things that are made of other things – my silk veggie collection is fabulous. It’s not like silk flowers – I mean those are meant to look real and save you from watering, I think. But the fuzzy artichoke and the amazing corn, complete with silk, just impress me. Having a passion for dollhouse miniatures is difficult because oh I would so go crazy if I had money. Having a miniature Charles Rennie Macintosh white cabinet along with a miniature Degas painting, and eggnog in a punch bowl complete with cups, hooks and ladle. Goofy. What can I say. And don’t get me started on figural teapots.

This year’s goofiest probably is one that came to mind today as I watched figure skating. It’s hard for an American right about now; the stupid-ass US channels are not showing very much of the “Grand Prix” competitions because US skaters did very badly – when they competed at all. So it’s teeth-gritting “holiday on ice” or “skaters skating to stuff you don’t normally see skaters skating to (Gretchen Wilson on ice!) but seeing one pair I love reminded md or this year’s goofiest acquisition. The Sale and Pellletier bobble head. Yes, I am the proud owner of a “pairs skating” bobble head figure that even somewhat looks lie the skaters – wearing their “Love Story” gray costumes from their Olympic long program.

Skater bobble heads. Okey-dokey.

As I went on line just now to see if the “King Kong/Empire State Building” salt and pepper shakers existed anywhere (we bought some ages ago as a wedding gift for friends but never got our own and I always loved them) I found another goofy which I would just love to own. A darling s&p set featuring the top of the Empire State Building and the top of the Chrysler building.

Sad? As soon as I typed that, I saved my work then went to Google and typed in “Empire State Chrysler Building salt pepper” found a site where they were half the price, shopped for another 2 minutes seeing totally silly items, finding a coupe I could NOT live without (ok, the little pepper calendar is for my sister, the little PENGUIN calendar, however, is for moi.) …

I’ve always liked candles that look like other things. I bought my sister “sushi candles” this holiday. I also bought her sushi soap because….yeah, you guessed it…goofy, huh? I love our mouse pad that looks like a Persian rug.

There are limits. Some but I am far too often drawn to something because it’s a miniature something-or-another version of something. Stu and I have a “twee alarm” – a high pitched noise that gets set off at craft fairs when we see something with just a tad too much lace on TOP of the gingham, ribbon, angels and glitter. One of us will just start squeeing “TWEE TWEEE” until we get past the bad booth. There are actually hedgehog items I will not purchase, and there is penguin stuff that’s a little over the top even for me. But if I liked marzipan, the house would be piled high with candy dishes (that probably would look like picnic baskets or SOMETHING else, full of marzipan fruit and veggies.

So is there like a name for this? Do you understand it or do you want your salt shakers to look like salt shakers and when you put apples in a bowl, do they hve to be real apples – not ceramic, or wood, or paper? I have a chili pepper necklace I adore – I bought it in Boston ages ago and it’s made of some sort of coating over what is probably little Styrofoam pepper shapes. Years ago, I saw an Alice in Wonderland necklace I faunched after (to faunch – fannish term meaning to desire, to want) but we didn’t have that kind of money and it was really one of those heavy “art” pieces that would probably leave bruises if someone hugged me while I was wearing it. You know the sort? Big clunky – really nice but meant more to display than to wear.

I had a very normal and good childhood. I’m not trying to buy things I never had, so it’s not that. I do dress very normally but it’s true that I tend not to have normal socks anymore (that’s another goofy thing. Very ordinary top and pants but my socks might have parrots on them, or monkeys, or stripes. Or they might moo.) I think my best bet is to place the blame on Stu who was the person who brought home my first rubber stamp (now THERE’s the potential for goofy BIG time) and keeps finding gorillas that follow him home. I will admit there’s quite a lot of power in the monkey soft toys; they’re often referred to ‘round here as “clutch monkeys” because I often grab one when I hurt and it’s really useful. But that doesn’t explain Cholmondeley the orangutan who hangs from my bedside lamp – the one with the incredibly silly googly eyes.

Oh yeah, that’s pronounced “Chumley”. Of course.

Merry Christmas, Happy Solstice. Happy boxing day. Have a great whatever.