No matter what, even when you're as fast on the trigger as I tend to be with the television remote's fabulous "mute" button, you absorb some of the advertising out there. Maybe you went for that drink but didn't want to miss the start of "Double Jeopardy" or, you turned away for a second when the show ended and somehow you got splattered with ad.

That does tend to be how I feel about advertising. Yeah, it's a profession but often an icky one, people out there, strangers, trying to convince me I need something when I don't, that I need this particular something when I already have a perfectly good something. And in recent years, it would seem that I need to be convinced of it AT THE TOP OF SOMEONE'S LUNGS,/B>. There's a current spate of advertising featuring a guy who fucking YELLS all the time. It's like a steady barrage of Chris Matthews, one of several news commentators who yells all the time. I said to Stu recently that their treatment of the airwaves reminded me of stories of how back when telephones were new, and how especially when long distance became available, how many people would YELL into the phone as if that would help their voices carry. I'm still not sure - many of us believe that the volume goes up when the ads come on, and while I've read that that isn't so, it sure SEEMS IT LATELY.

Weirder still is that recently it seems that I'm seeing ads I have never seen before for services (products too but mostly services) I never knew existed. Or that yeah, I knew existed but not in the numbers they seem to bring to the airwaves. Stu tells me that many of these used to advertise at hours I don't watch tv, like 2 am. Which is true, i never in my life sat watching television no matter what was on, at those hours. I have seen ads in the newspapers that I never used to see, which I put down to a lowering of ad rates so that lots more advertisers can put a display ad in the daily newspaper. (We still have one; the rates are doing up again. While the Times has not actually said what the new rate will be (how kind of them. They know I love surprises!) it's at least the second or third increase in the last year. I suppose I'm to be grateful we still have a 7-day-a-week paper, even if the other Seattle paper is about to go under.

Until recently, we would see some ads for casinos. Lately, we're seeing ads for casinos we never knew existed. We especially like the ones who promote themselves as only a teensy distance from the city. Riiiiiight. There's one that appears to involve two ferry rides, and that's once you get downtown. Another that's been open over 4 years and until a few weeks ago, I didn't know it existed. Mind you, I don't gamble, would not enjoy a trip to Vegas or Reno or Atlantic City, do not think it's worth the schlep for cheap food, but you know, after a while you hear stuff. Good thing thing it's only an hour away. (And has such a cheap ad agency. The ad is so bad. The other night Stu said exactly what I was thinking when the ad ran showing all the great features. "Well, it is a nice empty restaurant booth."

The "send us your gold and we'll send you money" ads are pretty creepy too, aren't they? Have you seen these? They're like those ants that are still getting into our bathroom - small, unwanted and plentiful. (And are - shocking to know - of course a total rip-off.) They "guarantee" satisfaction or you get your gold back. I wanna know if they send back a melted lump or what exactly.

I'd almost prefer the casino plugs (badly photographed, fake-y happy white folks (with one token "other" just because) having a groovy,, exciting, look-at-us-we're-smiling time over the endlessly annoying Heartfelt Cloying public service ad for the SPCA done by Sarah McLachlan. Apparently it's raised millions of dollars, which I can't undrstand. I mean I can, yeah, yeah, but what, like no one ever heard of the animal welfare organization before? And it goes for two minutes, folks. that's a long long time for a commercial in this country, especially when it's "oooooh, dah poor widdle puppy" photos and one of Sarah's more cloying melodies playing. But hey, you get a free tee shirt. And a photo of a kitty in a shelter (is it like those foster children programs? Do the kitties write every month about how they're doing in school?) Shudder.

Look, I donate regularly to animal charities on behalf of my sister and mom who are very interested in animal welfare stuff. I've made contributions to groups that raise guide and companion animals and that train therapy animals. But that ad, with that squeaky banal (sorry but) "Angel" song has ensured that while I will still give, it won't be to the SPCA.

The last one, though, I just can't quite get. I mean the gold and casino advertisers seem pretty obvious. In a bad economy, one the likes of which most of us have not witnessed before, there are lots of people happy to take advantage of fear. So what exactly spurs the endless promotion of acne treatments?

Today's ultimate realization came when i couldn't get to the remote in time and realized that the word "blemish" is, in fact, a very peculiar word. And one that doesn't get a lot of play outside of the world of acne treatments.

Blemish. Weird word, isn't it?

Now would someone PLEASE tell Sarah McLachlan to shut up! That song!!! My ears!!!! Aieeee!

Thank you.

Twitch.