I don't know my neighbor well. The house next door is of the same floor plan as ours - a duplex with two apartments that have very different layouts. I have talked to and waved to Upstairs Woman a lot; she owns the place and is out and about. When we moved in the lower apartment was rented by Richard Wilhelm. (Son of Kate. Great story there) and then by the People With Those Yappy Dustmop Dogs and then well, I lost track.

I did not know her name nor anything about her the afternoon several years ago when I knocked on her door. I know it was at least two years ago. I was still walking, Tricia owned the coffee shop, I did not own a cell phone, but beyond that I don't remember. And I had just made an incredible mistake. I'd parked the scooter in the garage and had left the garage, walking with a cane across the patio to our door. And I'd locked my keys in the garage. No one had a spare house key and whoever it was who lived upstairs at the moment was not home. It was mid-late afternoon. Stu would not be home for two to three hours even if he left early. I was desperate. I was also shaky (even then I did not walk far with the cane), stressed, blah blah and blah. So i went next door for help.

The young woman there was spectacularly thin on help. She did not offer her name, a chair, a phone, a glass of water. While she probably knew me to wave to, I understood this was not the best time, but I was clearly in trouble. It was maybe 4 pm, a nice day, mind you, but i was locked out of my house and I used a wheelchair/scooter and it was not visible. And while she was fairly young, I still think that if my 50-something neighbor with a cane knocked on my door, I would have said some version of "hey, here, sit down. Can I get you something to drink? do you need to call someone? Can we help you find the extra key?" You know. Pretty basic, no?

I think I emailed Stu - it was, as I recall not possible to phone him. And was able to catch him. He said he'd start for home immediately. (Still taking the three buses he takes to this day to/from work). I think I wrote back "I'll be at the coffee shop" but he'd left by then and never saw that information and had no idea where to find me and that's still another story. At this point, I took what I could get. The young lady appeared to be heading out with her father who, I admit, seemed fairly thin on help as well although he DID offer to drop me somewhere. I headed back over to where I'd just been, the neighborhood coffee shop I hang out at, little realizing that they normally closed at 5 pm. (Kind owner's MOTHER stayed with me for hours, finally driving me home where, I hoped someone could let me in. Maybe upstairs neighbor was home by now.) (yes and Stu was running around the neighborhood asking everyone if they knew where i was. It was not fun.)

That was it, except for the next day I went and got flowers and brought some to the coffee shop and left a bunch in a vase at the next door neighbor's door with a thank you note. The vase showed up a few days later at our door. The end. I never see that neighbor. i assumed someone else had moved in but based on nothing in particular. But never ever had an opportunity to wave or say even "hello" since.

Sunday Stu came in to say that the gal next door, good 'ol whatsername had said she was having a yard sale Monday - Labor Day - and we were welcome to add anything to it, she'd handle it. I assumed that we must have a new neighbor as this sounded wholly unlike the, well, the space case I'd met that day who hadn't even offered me a chair when she let me use her computer. (would you have maybe even allowed your neighbor to stay in your house? Maybe? I think I would have - what could someone do? Trash the place? When she lives next DOOR and you can find her?) but she and her dad had been in an awful hurry to get the hell out of there. (I remember thinking and not knowing why that I'd interrupted plans to get wasted. I don't know WHY it felt like a drug buy was going down, though clearly that was stupid. She was the guy's daughter. But even he didn't have the whatever it takes to suggest maybe i could sit for a minute?) (the fact that I was not offered a chair seems to be what bugs me most to this day. But come on) Of course, being told the day before a major holiday weekend yard sale even when you're not in the throes of a stomach bug is not good planning but hey, at least someone thought to tell Stu (though I suspect it was only because they bumped into each other - she wasn't on her way over to tell us).

Yesterday i heard someone next door and poked my head around to say "thanks for inviting us to join you, how did it go?" and learned that there had been no yard sale. They apparently realized late Sunday that you have to plan in order to have a yard sale. Oh. Alarm bells went off because apparently she had had no understanding of this. (and is still apparently planning to do it in a week or two. Good luck with that,the "season" if you will, is passed. and the weather is iffy.) (I'm starting to think what she really wants is to use our yard to spread her stuff out in so folks can come in through our yard (which has happened before. she offered to be cashier and went on and on but I don't think she has even the fraction of a clue) to go to her place. I have decided we're going to be busy that day. Whatever day it might be.)

I was embarrassed that I could not place this woman, did not recognize her but then she said the stunning thing. She started chatting about how we never saw each other and we should socialize more, because we had had such a great time that one time I had come over when her dad was there.

Seriously. I'm not making this up. She remembered a stressful 20 minutes or so, when her neighbor came over tense, clearly distracted and worried because she'd locked herself out of her house, as a pleasant social occasion. And I was not confusing it with some other visit that I had forgotten, no. It was the one and only time I'd been there when she lived there. I do not believe we had exchanged fifty words that day, beyond "I've locked myself out" and "can I use your computer to email my partner at work?" And remember nothing other than "well, we can drop you somewhere?" from her father. It was a pretty bad situation, don't you think? A disabled woman, hours from getting help, no spare key, no car to drive to a friend's house, no direct phone line to her partner....

And she recalled a pleasant time passed between her, me and her father. And thought we should do more of that.