I know everyone has been keeping up with Charlie's devastation and I thought I would let you all know my side...

This is a very difficult and involved situation that has been transpiring over several months. I am a very private person and I don't like to talk about my feelings, but Charlie knows everything that is in my heart. We have talked on many many occasions for hours and hours trying to figure everything out. Although it sounds like I have done nothing, this is not the case.

I am the one having the problem so I have done a lot of soul searching. I do love Charlie but do not feel that I am in love with him anymore and do not know if I will ever be again. It kills me inside knowing how much I am hurting him and I certainly have NEVER done anything to deliberately hurt him.

Most of this transpired when I started to get close to someone else, more so than I should have. This was not the cause of the problem however, more a symptom. I felt as though Charlie was totally taking me for granted and didn't seem to be putting half the effort into the marriage as I was. I knew that I didn't want to become the nagging wife who he resents so I just kept most of it bottled up inside. I wasn't going to leave Charlie for this other person. I am not stupid. I knew that was ridiculous and pointless. But the fact that I was so easily attracted to another made me start to think long and hard about the situation at hand.

Charlie is a great guy, and on paper everything seems like it should be perfect, but I am not happy, and I obviously hadn't been for a while. I know that I did not handle the initial situation as well as I should have and as a result I felt like I was living in a cage (my own fault, and Charlie's paranoia was completely understandable). I knew we would have to work hard at the marriage to overcome the breach of trust. He tried all these various things, he worked really hard at it, but I couldn't shake the feeling of being trapped. He would get frustrated with me because I wasn't making progress quick enough and I would get frustrated with him because I felt like he was always pressuring me.

Finally I felt like I just had to leave.

This certainly hasn't been easy for me and I am taking it day by day. We are going to try counseling next week.

I am sorry if I have let everyone down. This isn't an easy thing to do and I do hope it works out, but whatever happens will be for the best.

I am not as horrible as I may seem. I was unhappy. I left him. It was my decision.