We have all been those people at one time or another--those wide-eyed, loud and oblivious tourists who stroll the streets of an unfamiliar city, particularly one with historical significance. We cannot avoid it, but we sure as heck can whine about other people when they assume that role.

They stand on left side of the escalator, they walk in the middle of the sidewalk, they clog up service at restaurants. They're everywhere, their kids are everywhere and they all pay very little respect (as a whole) to the natives.

I felt like screaming at one family the other day on the Metro when their kids sat down in the middle of the train car and tore open twix bars and rice krispie treats, spilling crumbs all over the carpeted floors. Regardless of the rule against eating and drinking on public transportation, how little respect must like they have for the city they are visiting?

And then yesterday I overheard a woman at the Museum of the American Indian complaining that the place was intolerable because she there was "too much reading and too much talking" at each of the exhibits. God forbid she have to strain her eyes to learn a little bit about history.

I just want to open my mouth and let these ignorant monsters have a piece of my mind! But then I remember an instance in which I was on the other side of this equation...

San Francisco, circa 2001. I was walking down Van Ness with my family and we passed the Black Magic Voodoo Lounge. I was thrilled to be in that lovely city and at the time inspired to sing "that old black magic..." So I did, out loud. Just as I got to the good part where the melody swells and I can act like a singer at a speakeasy, I hear someone cuss at me, "why don't you SHUT UP!" Thinking it was my brother, I turned around to let him have it. But I soon realized that it was not him but a bummy-lookin' guy passing us by.

There I was parading through his neighborhood, walking in the middle of the sidewalk and singing at the top of my lungs. At that moment I was upset that anyone would have the nerve to tell me to shut up, so I turned to him and said something to the effect of "why don't you get a job!" But really, I was behaving exactly like the obnoxious tourists in DC who I cuss out in my mind every day.

The balance for me is going to have to lie somewhere. How do I speak out against the throngs of inconsiderate tourists without being branded a hypocrite?

Seriously, I don't have an answer to this. I'm too frustrated with the ignoramuses that are filling the nation's capital this weekend...