How are these seemingly random things related? It all comes down to two crazy days, one borrowed Nintendo Wii, lots of alcohol and genetically mutated apples. Well, not really genetically mutated apples...more like apples injected with artificial and natural grape flavoring, to give a little twist to a fruit that is otherwise fairly boring. But it sounds cooler if you say they're genetically altered.

In other words, we spent the weekend exploring the world of Wii, drinking wine, sangria and Mexican beer, and eating apples with a distinct grape flavoring. And let me just admit, unabashedly, that the Wii is really freaking fun. I knocked out dudes bigger than me, I bowled a personal best one hundred points higher than I've ever bowled in real life, and I hit a 538-foot home run. Oh, and I got to shiv bad guys in the Marvel Universe.

To understand why this is ironic/unusual/uncharacteristic of me, I'll go back in time. I have spent most of my life on this planet not giving a hoot about video games. My Mama said they was the devil...she will deny that, of course, but in so many words made that clear when she refused to buy us a video game system. Even when all of the other kids at school had 'em. Their vocabularies bulged with the growing jargon that accompanied them. Meanwhile, my sad little lexicon lagged hopelessly behind.

But just like evolution and life, kids find a way to partake in the things they are denied. Having a computer-saavy brother who knew his way around the internet before it was even created was helpful for me in that regard. The juice from Mortal Kombat and Doom on our home computer was sweeter than the arcade versions. In the college years, a resurfaced PC version of Ninetendo's first Super Mario Brothers provided good fuel for procrastination. But overall, the absence of mainstream video games and systems in my life expressed itself within me as a pervasive apathy.

I knew video games had a theraputic quality--the properties of certain games are helpful in integrating the senses of children with autism or pervasive development disorders. That is spectacular. But the gratuitous violence of many of the marketed games and the fact that it fosters couch-potato-ism did nothing to convince me that it was anything in which I needed to indulge. Occasionally, a good bout of popping caps in zombies with a tommy-gun could be cathartic, but only for a few minutes.

But the Wii...it's genius. Solves the couch potato problem immediately. You can't play games on this thing while you're sitting on the couch. No. You end up drenched in sweat, and wake up the next morning with aches all over your body. There are already urban legends floating around about guys who've lost serious poundage from using the game system daily. The sports games actually help you develop technique. And you can make up characters that look just like you!

Ok, I'll stop my pointless rambling. Point is, the Wii is worth a try. And that's coming from a non-conformist in the world of video games. So if you can get your hands on one, do it!



Alas, I'm exhausted from wii-shivving and my tummy is full of grapples. Time for bed.