You know you live in a small town when the largest social, political, and economic event going is the opening of a new bowling alley.
This is not your mother's bowling alley, but an electronic palace of the pin. I can just imagine the reaction of the old-time leaguers of Buffalo to the strobes, neon and digital screens. They would likely see it a desecration to use a 57 Chevy as a DJ booth (since most of them took the bus).
The pinball machine of yore has been replaced with a massive interactive video arcade. There is no smoking permitted anywhere in the building and automatic scoring with video display not only animates splits, spares and strikes... but prevents cheating. From what I remember in the "child room" while my parents bowled-- smoking and score card fudging were essential elements of the game.
I amused myself then for many long hours drawing with the thick flat scoring pencil on the back of the score sheet bordered with dozens of local advertisements. The poor kids today are stuck with a virtual reality playland if they choose not to bowl on a lane with flashing electrmnic bumpers that prevent gutter balls. I guess I should have assumed local parents would never let their precious young ones play in the gutter. Most local progeny are far too perfect to fail at anything.
All the house balls are neon to facilitate blacklight bowling that switches on every other hour. (Note to self, be sure to wear black bra with black sweater).
The shoes are a modern unisex version with both male and female equivalent sizes on the heel. I never thought THAT would fly in South Georgia. So as not to completely throw the traditionalists, the shoes remain ugly.
A young friend of ours asked to have his birthday party there and I begged, bribed and cajolled to get him on to their overcrowded schedule. I walked away very pleased to have spent $200 to entertain 11 people at a game I recall priced in two-bit increments (in Buffalo in the 60s, by the 70s in the suburbs they were getting a dollar a game).
I called the usual suspects to invite them and discovered one family would be at another party there on Friday, the other family was booked to be there on Saturday. They both enthusiastically accepted our Sunday invitation. At this point, we'd have to call it a social phenomena.
It would not surprise me to see Paris or Britney on the next lane. Rumor is J-Lo is considering marrying the manager.
If it gets to the point people start buying their own shoes and wearing their league shirts on the street, I'm outta here.
I've been there once already. It isn't pretty.
Copyright 2004 Judi Griggs