the only holiday i hate worst than christmas is valentine's day. i used to be on the fence with this one. i wasn't against it but not really for it. valentine's was never a high hope for me. until i met iceback. he gave me one of the most special valentine's i'd ever had. we didn't have a lot of money and really, that's what makes that day special. three four years later, he gave me the worst. two days later, he left me for another woman and then had me believe it was because of me that he left (and she had nothing to do with it)

i came across a text from him to z where apparently z, newly in love, asked him about valentine's day and he said "it's just another day for us" not a romantic bone in his body, and God knows, i'm not much the romantic either. but when he took off he ruined what little romantic i had left. therefore, i fucking hate valentine's day.

in other news, my friend since 12 seems to think my friend since 21 and i have been talking behind her back and making fun of her. since 21 friend and i have never talked about since 12 year old friend...ever. since 12 old friend is now done with me, won't talk to me, won't return my calls and claims i was never there for her in the 30+ years. no, that wasn't me that went to court for her when she divorced her first husband. that wasn't me that even though i knew she screwed around on her second husband was there for her when she found out that husband screwed around on her. i wasn't there for her when she thought she was too stupid to find a job should she leave her older than she should have married husband just so she would never have to work again. i was here when she ranted and raved about her worthless her persecuted sister and law over and over again, and chickasaw girl that ticked her off, and was here when she ticked because lowe's not only screwed up her new carpet but her mini-blinds order. girl's gone bat shit crazy and doesn't even have the balls to tell me what she thinks she's upset about. i love this girl because she doesn't tell me what i want to hear and i don't do that to her. i would never talk about her ever behind her back. and now she won't even return my calls. she was always jealous when i had other friends, me? when she found other friends, i just found other friends and moved on. but i always continued to be her friend when those other friends left her, or bored her (she to this day thinks i'm the one that couldn't stand her friendship with others)

in good news, i think i sold my car. he's talking payments and tells me i don't even have to replace the fuel pump, but come on. i just ain't signing the title over to him until i get all the payments. i ain't no fool and in this life, sadly, you can't trust a lot of people any more.

in the meantime, anyone want to contribute to "get this kid out of my house" fund? seems even though she'll list 20+ reasons and counting (one everyday) why she loves him, and she's about to graduate with a bachelor's in teaching, his girlfriend is not willing to pony up the money. broke-ass mom and got a new baby plus supporting 4 other people dad can't pony up the money, well, because he's working, i live on next to nothing and the irs is dicking me for our back taxes (not iceback though) and kid won't get off his ass to live his dream...whatever the fuck that is.

geez, i went and found my own funding for whatever i wanted to do. iceback is right, i spoiled this kid. i was just trying to make up for the prick he was.