There’s a tradition in the Orthodox Church that Easter Sunday is reserved for the telling of jokes. They do this to celebrate God’s greatest joke. The resurrection isn’t humorous in the usual sense but it’s the greatest punchline in the Christian faith. Just when the Disciples were at their lowest and it seemed that the forces of hatred and violence had won, the tomb turned out to be empty.

It’s a day to share joy. And (a little belatedly) that’s what I’d like to do. Here are a few of the good, the bad, and the painful. I hope you enjoy them.

1. A Pastor was walking past a pet shop one day when he noticed a sign in the window: "Christian Horse for Sale." The Pastor was intrigued and went into the shop. The showed him a beautiful stallion and agreed to let him take a test ride. The Pastor grabbed the reins and said, "giddyap." The horse ignored him. “This is a Christian horse,” the owner said. “If you want him to move, you must say, ‘Praise the Lord!’ and if you want him to stop say, ‘Amen’.” The Pastor got on the horse and tested this out. Sure enough the horse wouldn’t budge until he heard the words, ‘Praise the Lord.’ They started off on a nice canter. Suddenly, the horse saw a rattlesnake. Frightened he reared and bolted straight for a cliff. The Pastor cried "whoa!" but the horse only ran faster. As he reached the edge of the cliff he remembered the right command and yelled, “AMEN!” The horse stopped at the edge of the cliff. The grateful Pastor raised his hands to heaven and cried, "PRAISE THE LORD!"

2. A pilot flying into Seattle encountered a thick fog and instrument failure at the same time. He decided that he could find the airport if he could only find a familiar landmark. Finally he found an opening through which he could see a tall building with employees working. He had the co-pilot hold a sigh reading, “Where am I?” to the window. When he came back around he saw that the employees were holding up a sign that read, “You’re in an airplane.” He set a heading and found the airport in no time. When asked how he managed it the pilot said, “It was easy once I realized that the answer was technically correct but completely useless. I knew then it had to be the Microsoft Building and finding the airport was easy.”

3. One day God was looking down on Earth and saw all that 95% of the people were causing trouble and only 5% were working to make the world a better place. God decided to e-mail the 5% and offer them t some words of encouragement and wisdom.

Do you know what that E-mail said?

You didn’t get that one either?

4. Two Arizona cowpunchers died and (sadly) ended out in Hell. Fortunately the fires of Perdition didn’t seem any worse than a Summer day in their home state so they weren’t too uncomfortable. This frustrated Satan who decided, if the heat wasn’t going to do it, he’d turn the infernal thermostat down. It became so cold in the nether regions that an icecap formed. When Satan checked in on the cowboys he was surprised to see then dancing and cheering. “What is it with you guys?” he demanded. “Hell’s frozen over!” One of the wranglers replied. “The Cardinals must have made it into the play-offs.”

5. Q: How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.

Q: How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Ten. One to call the electrician, and nine to say how much they liked the old one better.

Q: How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: CHANGE?

Q: How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Light bulb?

Q: How many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. The lights will come back on when God has pre-ordained it.

Q: How many Lutherans does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Eleven. One to change the light bulb. And ten more to organize a covered dish supper that will follow the changing of the bulb service.

Q: How many United Church of Christ members does it take to change a light bulb?

A: There is some question here. But we have it on good authority that they have appointed a committee to study the issue and report back at their next meeting.

Q: How many Unitarians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey, you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship to your light bulb and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-lived, and tinted; all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

6. New York has recently been struck by a series of bizarre robberies. A group of tall men have been holding up businesses in high-rise buildings. They escape by running to the roof and leaping to another building, thus confusing the police. Unfortunately for them the security guard at the last office they tried to burgle was a former rodeo cowboy. He lassoed and hog-tied all of the gang before any of them could escape. Now they call him superman, because he “bound tall leapers in a single building.”

7. A man who hadn’t ever been to church ended out at the gate to Heaven where they found they had to answer a question about Christianity to be admitted.

“What is Easter?” God asked.

“Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey,” the man said.

“Sorry, that’s not it.” God answered.

“Is Easter when we celebrate Jesus' birth and exchange gifts?”

“You’re on the right track,” God said, “but that’s still not quite it.”

The man closed his ideas in concentration and tried again, “Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus had the Last Supper with his Disciples but then Judas betrayed. He was arrested, put on trial, and hung on the cross. When he dies his followers took him down and placed his body in a tomb and rolled a big stone across the entrance. Then on Easter morning the stone was rolled away and the resurrected Jesus came out.”

“That’s it!” God cried.

Encouraged the man continued, “But if he sees his shadow he goes back in and we have six more weeks of Lent.”

Happy Easter!