...feeling pressed down and hopeless.....


..I didn't wake up this way....


.......spent time looking forward to tonight, and I still do........ but......



it's just, it's just, it's just I've run out of patience with myself and I don't know if I'll ever get to where I want to be and I don't know if I'll ever get there and how do other people do this and make look instinctual when my instincts are clearly busted when they're not fixated on some childish obsession and, and, and,


and God.


God, I'm so tired of this. I really am. I'm tired of being tired. Of spending days on the verge of tears. Of being just on the outside of every discussion. Please, please let me out. Or maybe in.