Nobody
Something to Do Before I Die
649475 Curiosities served
2/26/07
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Mood:
So-So
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Listening: A Perfect Circle
Desiring: dessert, sweets, company of people I miss
I swear I am trying to think of things that I can write about that matter at least a little. But there's little that matters that I'm really that interested in writing about. Work has gotten weird. Stressful but not in a bad way.
Had some heartache that I'm just not interested in writing about. I do want to note that it's just been feeling dull lately. Not "ok." No where near that. But it pitched me into such dramatic depression that I'm just too worn out to feel much else anymore. I'm absoutely tired of being depressed, of feeling like I have no friends.
I'm worn out at feeling childish and selfish and furthermore worn out at getting angry with myself for my incidental pettiness when it seems like no one else exercises much restraint over theirs. Oh. and I'm sick and tired of the circles I go around in trying to find reasons to forgive myself for being myself only to take issue with those selfsame attempts.
So how 'bout some fluff, huh?
************
1. Diamonds or Pearls: *shrug* rubies
2. What is your favorite TV show: Heroes, I guess. I don't watche television but I keep up with Heroes online.
3. What do you normally have for breakfast: Slim-Fast
4. What is your middle name: [censored]
5. What is your favorite cuisine: Italian
6. What food do you most dislike: *shrug* anything bland. Or over-boiled.
7. What is your favorite chip: I don't think I have one. Though I tend to enjoy the very fatty sour cream and chives Pringles.
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment: no real favorite CD but I do have Tool, A perfect Circle and NIN on heavy rotation these days.
9. What is your favorite sandwich: tuna melt, on grilled sourdough with cheddar, please. Add black olives and I'll be your best friend forever.
10. Qualities I despise most in other people are: Insincerity, lack of consideration for others, willingness to hurt others for momentary self-aggrandizement
11. What are your favorite clothes: I heart my big purple dress. I still need to find a good bra to wear with it. but I dig it with the waist cincher.
12. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would it be: not really sure. I guess if I didn't have to worry about a *single* thing then I'd get on with my drive around North & south Americas. Especially if I could pick my company.
13. What color are your eyes: shit brown
14. What is your favorite brand of clothing: I really don't have a favorite brand. s'pose I like the stuff that Hot Topic and Drac in a Box carry, but I've never bought anything from Drac.
15. Where would you want to retire: Ideally I don't want to retire. I would love please start working on the career of my choice, here or anywhere else the powers that be lead me. I have no thoughts toward retirement. I want to make theatre until I croak.
16. What is your favorite time of day: when I leave work, usually when I get home and can sit and chill a while.
17. What is your favorite sport to watch: USC football.
18. Sock Sock, Shoe Shoe or Sock Shoe, Sock Shoe: sock, sock... *grump* shoe *grump* shoe. I don't like being shod.
19. Cash, credit card or debit card? depends, usually split between cash and debit. I usually don't even have a credit card. I recently got one and it's been mainly for large expenses for my car.
20. Pepsi or Coke: I would love some apple juice right now.
21. Cats or Dogs: I'm allergic to both.
22. Are you a morning person or a night owl: *shrug* the job has killed off my ability to stay up particularly late. I've never been that anti-morning, I just don't enjoy behing rushed through them. and tend to prefer snuggling under the blankets to getting started with things.
23. Pedicure or manicure: I do my own nails. Not cause I'm any good at it. I just have no interest in paying anyone else to do them. And I have a definate thing against letting strangers touch my feet.
24. Do you prefer funny or mushy cards: *shrug* heartfelt
25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone: sadly, nothing new *and* exciting. sorry.
26. What did you want to be when you were little: an astronaut, a firefighter and a teacher
27. What do you have in your trunk right now: God knows. all kinds of junk and papers and things.
28. What is your best childhood memory: the way the gardenias smelled first thing on June Saturday mornings, and how it mixed with the smell of my dad's pancakes. The brightness of the sunlight and then endless energy I once seemed to have.
29. What is your favorite Holiday: Halloween.
30. What is your favorite dessert: right now I'd love a rainbow sherbet topped with lots of chocolate syrup
31. Where is your favorite get-away: probably San Francisco. oooh, wait, no. st Andrew's Abbey. Yeah. I need to go back there.
32. Have you ever been to Africa: no. not yet.
33. Glasses or Contacts: sunglasses. for now. Today I admitted to myself that I have messed up vision. More than likely nothing that can be corrected. And it's good enough for most things. I just know the blurry spots are there.
34. Have you ever been toilet papering: No.
35. Favorite movies: Frida, Lilo and Stitch, Kill Bill, Dogma, Shakespeare in Love, Fight Club
36. Favorite Past time: hanging out with good people
37. Sandals or tennis shoes: tennis shoes, usually. Though again I prefer to not wear shoes
38. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card: I would not choose to max out my credit card. They expect you to pay it back.
39. If the speed limit is 60, what is the fastest you normally drive: 80ish
40. Last person you went to dinner with: the Ice Cream Assassin, his fiancee Bree, and Space Dog
41. Smooth or crunch peanut butter: smooth
*********************
Humble and helpless
Learning to pray
Praying for visions
To show me the way
Show me the way to forgive you
Allow me to let it go
Allow me to be forgiven
Show me the way to let go
Show me the way to forgive you
Allow me to let it go
Allow me to be forgiven
Show me the way to let go
Illuminate me,
Illuminate me,
Illuminate me,
I'm just praying for you to show me
Where I'm to begin
Hoping to
Hoping to reconnect to you...
--"Thomas"
--A Perfect Circle
Desiring: dessert, sweets, company of people I miss
I swear I am trying to think of things that I can write about that matter at least a little. But there's little that matters that I'm really that interested in writing about. Work has gotten weird. Stressful but not in a bad way.
Had some heartache that I'm just not interested in writing about. I do want to note that it's just been feeling dull lately. Not "ok." No where near that. But it pitched me into such dramatic depression that I'm just too worn out to feel much else anymore. I'm absoutely tired of being depressed, of feeling like I have no friends.
I'm worn out at feeling childish and selfish and furthermore worn out at getting angry with myself for my incidental pettiness when it seems like no one else exercises much restraint over theirs. Oh. and I'm sick and tired of the circles I go around in trying to find reasons to forgive myself for being myself only to take issue with those selfsame attempts.
So how 'bout some fluff, huh?
************
1. Diamonds or Pearls: *shrug* rubies
2. What is your favorite TV show: Heroes, I guess. I don't watche television but I keep up with Heroes online.
3. What do you normally have for breakfast: Slim-Fast
4. What is your middle name: [censored]
5. What is your favorite cuisine: Italian
6. What food do you most dislike: *shrug* anything bland. Or over-boiled.
7. What is your favorite chip: I don't think I have one. Though I tend to enjoy the very fatty sour cream and chives Pringles.
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment: no real favorite CD but I do have Tool, A perfect Circle and NIN on heavy rotation these days.
9. What is your favorite sandwich: tuna melt, on grilled sourdough with cheddar, please. Add black olives and I'll be your best friend forever.
10. Qualities I despise most in other people are: Insincerity, lack of consideration for others, willingness to hurt others for momentary self-aggrandizement
11. What are your favorite clothes: I heart my big purple dress. I still need to find a good bra to wear with it. but I dig it with the waist cincher.
12. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would it be: not really sure. I guess if I didn't have to worry about a *single* thing then I'd get on with my drive around North & south Americas. Especially if I could pick my company.
13. What color are your eyes: shit brown
14. What is your favorite brand of clothing: I really don't have a favorite brand. s'pose I like the stuff that Hot Topic and Drac in a Box carry, but I've never bought anything from Drac.
15. Where would you want to retire: Ideally I don't want to retire. I would love please start working on the career of my choice, here or anywhere else the powers that be lead me. I have no thoughts toward retirement. I want to make theatre until I croak.
16. What is your favorite time of day: when I leave work, usually when I get home and can sit and chill a while.
17. What is your favorite sport to watch: USC football.
18. Sock Sock, Shoe Shoe or Sock Shoe, Sock Shoe: sock, sock... *grump* shoe *grump* shoe. I don't like being shod.
19. Cash, credit card or debit card? depends, usually split between cash and debit. I usually don't even have a credit card. I recently got one and it's been mainly for large expenses for my car.
20. Pepsi or Coke: I would love some apple juice right now.
21. Cats or Dogs: I'm allergic to both.
22. Are you a morning person or a night owl: *shrug* the job has killed off my ability to stay up particularly late. I've never been that anti-morning, I just don't enjoy behing rushed through them. and tend to prefer snuggling under the blankets to getting started with things.
23. Pedicure or manicure: I do my own nails. Not cause I'm any good at it. I just have no interest in paying anyone else to do them. And I have a definate thing against letting strangers touch my feet.
24. Do you prefer funny or mushy cards: *shrug* heartfelt
25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone: sadly, nothing new *and* exciting. sorry.
26. What did you want to be when you were little: an astronaut, a firefighter and a teacher
27. What do you have in your trunk right now: God knows. all kinds of junk and papers and things.
28. What is your best childhood memory: the way the gardenias smelled first thing on June Saturday mornings, and how it mixed with the smell of my dad's pancakes. The brightness of the sunlight and then endless energy I once seemed to have.
29. What is your favorite Holiday: Halloween.
30. What is your favorite dessert: right now I'd love a rainbow sherbet topped with lots of chocolate syrup
31. Where is your favorite get-away: probably San Francisco. oooh, wait, no. st Andrew's Abbey. Yeah. I need to go back there.
32. Have you ever been to Africa: no. not yet.
33. Glasses or Contacts: sunglasses. for now. Today I admitted to myself that I have messed up vision. More than likely nothing that can be corrected. And it's good enough for most things. I just know the blurry spots are there.
34. Have you ever been toilet papering: No.
35. Favorite movies: Frida, Lilo and Stitch, Kill Bill, Dogma, Shakespeare in Love, Fight Club
36. Favorite Past time: hanging out with good people
37. Sandals or tennis shoes: tennis shoes, usually. Though again I prefer to not wear shoes
38. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card: I would not choose to max out my credit card. They expect you to pay it back.
39. If the speed limit is 60, what is the fastest you normally drive: 80ish
40. Last person you went to dinner with: the Ice Cream Assassin, his fiancee Bree, and Space Dog
41. Smooth or crunch peanut butter: smooth
*********************
Humble and helpless
Learning to pray
Praying for visions
To show me the way
Show me the way to forgive you
Allow me to let it go
Allow me to be forgiven
Show me the way to let go
Show me the way to forgive you
Allow me to let it go
Allow me to be forgiven
Show me the way to let go
Illuminate me,
Illuminate me,
Illuminate me,
I'm just praying for you to show me
Where I'm to begin
Hoping to
Hoping to reconnect to you...
--"Thomas"
--A Perfect Circle
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