There is so much I have to/ought to do and I don't want to do any of it. I really ought make use of some coupons that I paid a bit extra for but will expire soon. I have to go shopping - I'm hearing again and again that I need better business clothes (not at all what I would prefer to shop for). I should probably eat. I ought to leave my room and some point and perhaps take a shower.

Ugh. I just want to stay hidden in here. I finally figured out an equilibrium for the temperature. I found a way to prop myself on the bed to work on the laptop and not make my knee hurt. And my knee hurts a whole goddamn lot. And if I don't move I don't feel pain from the knee or from the big bad cramps going on right now. I can tune out how fat I am, if I don't move. And I don't invite guilt if I don't eat. (I won't be exercising either, but see the part where I'm in pain.)

Blah. I don't want to deal with everything I have to deal with. I'm sick of not having a job and having that propel everything that sucks about my life. It would be maybe, possibly ok to waste just one day in bed, PMSing, with a twisted knee and bug bites, if only I had a job. If something could just please break in my favor, that would be really nice.