I've been a minister for almost 2 years...My second Sunday, before I was even ordained, I assisted in a wedding during our regular Sunday service. Then about 6 months ago (I know it was that long ago, because the baby was born 3 months ago...that's right do the math) I assisted in a Catholic wedding that was a whirlwind of family angst (and still is). But in the last 10 days, I've been a part of two VERY different weddings...


Wedding One:

Setting: Chapel (capacity 700) of a ginormous church in my hometown (the sanctuary seats 4000+). The beigest space in history--beige walls, beige carpet, beige trim, beige brocade pew cushions, beige minister, but oddly lavender organist (my laven-dar is very well developed).

The couple: a young relative of mine who drives a wrecker (nothing wrong with that) and had his license suspended and was charged with making a terroristic threat for cursing out a cop who didn't choose him to get a tow job (quite a lot wrong with that) [the charges were dropped]; his fiance--a strong, determined only daughter of a family that redefines the decent side of Central Texas redneck. No doubt there is much love there...also no doubt they received cigarettes as a wedding present. (I saw them).

Highlights/Lowlights: (1) A homily that virtually ignored the bride and was used as instructions for the groom for his role as "spiritual head" and "leader in all ways" of his family; (2) A prayer that used the phrase "Lord, we just want to" 17 times [I'm evil, I counted]; (3) a boned-fortress of a wedding dress that, though quite attractive, really should have had cap sleeves to hide the bulges at the underarm created by the very tight bodice (unfortunately making her look bigger than she is, which, bless her, is not small); (4) having to sing the Lord's Prayer 3 minutes after the recording of Josh Groban singing "You Raise Me Up" filled the space with his massively 'produced' voice and shout chorus--talk about your ego destroyers; (5) having the minister who refused to let me co-officiate come up and be so gracious that butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.


Wedding Two: (the first time I actually performed an entire wedding service on my own, my first signed marriage license)

Setting: Lakeside deck of a suburban resort, under a small arbor, with 18 in the wedding party and 175 guests, clear blue skies, temp in the low 70s, no humidity to speak of, light breeze, 5:30 with the sun set just below the ginormous willow tree that grows at lakeside just off the deck.

The Couple: two Stamford MBA students, former co-workers, she from the suburbs up here, he from a mid-Atlantic state that is still very southern even though the word North appears in its name. She progressive, he conservative. They: scary smart, remarkably well-adjusted, truly kind and delightfully in love.

Highlights: (1) the two year old ring bearer in his seersucker suit walking down the aisle with his mother (Matron of honor) and then, right on cue, leaving her at her spot and running off to his father standing off to the side to go eat mac and cheese with his hands quietly on the back of the deck for the rest of the ceremony; (2) a statement of the gift of marriage that never used the phrase "a man and a woman" but was still well-received by the bride and groom AND the religiously conservative grandmother who was present; (3) meeting the groom's gay brother who, at 22, just came out to the family this summer--sweet kid; (4) having a delightful conversation with the bride's 70+ grandmother AND her identical twin sister; (5) having the ceremony go off without a hitch and having the bride and groom happy with all of it; (6) getting to spend time with my buddy P (though I missed getting to see his wife who couldn't make the trip); and (7) (shameless self promotion) having the father of the groom say very, very nice things about me and the service in his toast at the reception, receiving a round of applause from those gathered in response.

Lowlight: having two ear infections the whole weekend and not really being able to hear myself or anyone else most of the time, though it was never a major problem.

I think I like weddings...I think I'd like to do more of them. I think, in my congregation, the chances of that are pretty slim....though there is the one coming up in Louisiana in October...where my oldest still-single cousin (47) is marrying a twice-divorced woman he met on the internet. My life is so fun...I couldn't make this stuff up...