So, the hearings have begun. Sen. Spector and his committee will do some grilling, and perhaps all will see what a bad idea all of this is...but in the meantime, I have a few, or more correctly, ten ideas about this ill-advised program. Not so much funny, as thoughtful...okay some are supposed to be funny.

Warrantless Domestic Wiretapping of calls made by US citizens to locations where potential terrorists are located is a bad idea because...

10. Generally speaking, American political leaders who have trampled on the Bill of Rights (in this case the 4th Amendment and the right of privacy) often end up having to rely upon it themselves--usually the Fifth (self-incrimination), Sixth (speedy trial), Seventh (jury trial) and Eighth (excessive bail, cruel & unusual punishment) Amendments...and it just looks tacky to take such inconsistent positions.

9. Michael Jackson is currently living in--scratch that--VISITING--the Middle East. That means some poor sap in the National Securty Administration is having to listen to every one of his phone calls...and I for one don't think it's fair for us to be so cruel to a federal employee.

8. The Foriegn Intelligence Surveillance Act permits wiretapping in emergency situations to go forward, so long as a warrant is obtained after the fact. In 2004 the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court GRANTED 1754 secret warrants...it's not like it's hard to get one. Claims about the "need for speed" and the " too tough standards" are, basically, full of it. (okay, so I had to sneak one totally serious one in.)

7. The wiretaps have included supposed "dirty numbers" found on computers and cell phones of known or suspected terrorists, some more than 4 years old. Um...I currently recieve about 5 dunning calls a week for people who used to have my phone number. Do we really think terrorists are so dumb as to keep using the same phone numbers after operatives have been compromised? Doesn't the NSA watch the Mission Impossible movies or read Tom Clancy?

6. The legal justification is a bad teenager's excuse. Atty Gen. Gonzales says that when Congress gave permission to go to war in Iraq, that this gave permission for the wiretaps, implicitly. Hey, parents of teenagers...does this sound familiar: "You said I could go see White Snake. You can't really enjoy their music unless you are high, so I assumed you were saying it was okay to get high." Puh-leez!

5. We're trusting the same government that delivers my cousin's "inadvertently opened in transit" Playboy magazine every month to protect privacy without ANY oversight?

4. Stealing Paris Hilton's cellphone, twice, isn't going to help us catch Ben-Laden.

3. The only U.S. plot referenced as having been stopped by the program is one by some guy planning to bring down the Brooklyn Bridge using blow torches...hmmmm....sounds like the guy who wanted to wipe out Lake Michigan, with a bucket. Who thinks in post-9/11 New York that a strange man with a blow torch on the bridge isn't going to attract the attention of New York's finest anyway?

2. "We can't tell the enemy what we are doing." Um...hasn't that ship already sailed? Doesn't Al-Quaida read the New York Times or watch CNN? Or are they assuming that someone at the secret court is in Al-Quaida...if so, we've got much bigger fish to fry than phone calls.

1. At least a few instances have shown that name similarities meant totally innocent people's phones were being tapped. How many times do we have to explain this to the NSA operatives...Obama is the senator, Osama is the terrorist?