Ann Coulter says that Bill Clinton is a latent homosexual because he has been promiscuous with women. She asserts that his affairs have "a whiff of the bathhouse about them."

Um....What?

She backs that up with the statement that it is basic feminist doctrine that "wild promiscuity shows a fear and hostility [toward] women."

Um....What?

Okay, Assumption number 1, all gay men are wildly promiscuous.

Um....Not.
(Perhaps among the over 35 crowd only Ms. Coulter has a bed as bereft of intimate company as mine. Did I say that out loud? Sorry, TMI.)

Assumption number 2, acting upon same sex attraction between men is a manifestation of a "fear" of women, or manifests a "hostility [toward] women"?

Um....Not.
(Please know that the fact that I find the man who sings two rows behind and two people over from me in the Chorus to be incredibly sexually attractive has nothing to do with any of you dear womyn out there. I swear. Cross my heart and hope to have to French Kiss Ann Coulter. Egad. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. Anyway...)

Assumption number 3, gay men fear or are hostile toward women.

Um...Not.
(I love the ladies, particularly the RGBP gals. I'm just not attracted to any of you in that way. I know that ruins your Monday. Oh wait...Ann Coulter notwithstanding, of course. I dont love her. But then, I'm not sure that succubae count as women. Do they? But I digress.)

Assumption number 4, feminists believe that an immature tendency to be a horndog automatically means that a man has a fear of or hostility toward women.


Um....What?
(Does not Ms. Coulter know of any formerly(?) promiscuous men whose daliances were instead evidence of say, alcohol and drug abuse (Good Evening Mr. President) or perhaps simply evidence that one is an immature asshole (Good Evening former Speaker Gingrich)....But there I go, digressing again.)

Assumption number 5, the evidence of perhaps a handfull of extra-marital affairs (never to be condoned of course) is evidence of "wild promiscuity."

Um...What?
(One doubts that Ms. Coulter has read any NFL or MLB biographies lately, or perhaps done a quick check of how many women receive child support payments from NBA stars. So they're all gay, right? Right? RIGHT? No? Damn.)


Assumption number 6, any of us think she is anything other than a third string clown in the Circus of the Absurd that is the reactionary infotainment industry?

Um....No. (Perhaps we need a new fable...the Emperor's New Clothes could be revamped as The Harpie's New Brain.)

I would borrow from that hoary old saying and suggest that all of her assumptions have made an ass of Ms. Coulter, but that would be an insult to all members of the donkey family AND to every posterior on every creature upon the earth..even those scary blue/red butts on those primates from the Discovery Channel.

Um....done.