Greetings from the frozen hinterlands of NW Illinois where I am on retreat. I'm on retreat to plan Lent, finish some writing assignments and get my head on, well, not straight exactly, but more properly aligned, shall we say.

Only problem...as of yesterday I'd gotten almost nothing but the planning part accomplished. See, I've become a terrible procrastinator in the past month. I've done some research and apparently, this is a sign of depression.

Funny, I don't feel depressed. I feel lazy. I feel distracted. And, it being just a few days after Valentine's Day...I of course feel lonely, fat, and unloved. But I'm assured by my own rational mind that these are but passing thoughts that should be given no heed.

So, to the point...why no posts for over a month?
Because, honestly, I've gotten tired of the sound of my own voice. I've been getting really, really, really preachy...

I wonder, why does that happen? What is it that causes one who likes to think he writes with a dash a humor, a dash of intellect and a dash of pastoral reflection to suddenly become Mr. My Wayorthe Highway?

Rut?
Depression?
Fatigue?
True moral certitude?

Nah...Here's what's the real story....

I'm angry.

At whom am I angry?
Let's see...

The President?...I mean who isn't? But not especially...

The Congress?...Sadly, partisanship is alive and well. But this isn't anything new, just a flip-flop of sides...

Barack Obama?...Too early, too careful, too vaguely centrist, no apparent fire in his belly....But, nah...I think he may come around...

The press?...Anna Nicole Smith pushes Iraq deaths and global warming off the front page? Give me a break....Ed Murrow is doing double gainers in his grave...But who is really surprised...nah, that's not it....

The church?...Anglicans will likely split over gays, some Presbyterians are leaving over gays, the Vatican is apoplectic over gays...But again...is any of this really new? Nah...not that...

The Academy? No nomination of "Children of Men" for Best Picture? Are they on crack?...but who can get truly angry over a stupid award show? Nah...that's not it...

American Idol is back? Puh-leeze...

Who is the source of my current anger? The man in the mirror, I'm afraid. He's been putting off living in order to put out fires that only happened because he's been lazy...falling into the reactive trap...hiding disengagement in the fancy label of "self-care."

The perspective of 48 hours in the woods is that life isn't going to happen unless I live it.

So, a few prayers later...and some moments, no, make that hours, of gracious, yet tough, internal discourse...and I've decided that tomorrow is, indeed, a new day. A day I intend to live instead of just observing others as they live it.

So...there it is.

A few things to dust off related to things I owe other people...and the slate is clean.

And so we start anew.

God is good...all the time...

And so it goes.