My, my, my…Mr. Hardaway, do you find it interesting that we’ve just had All-Star weekend in the NBA and all anyone is talking about is two retired players? I’d imagine you’re not thrilled that one of them is you.

A week ago Friday, retired British NBA player John Amaechi began doing interviews associated with his autobiography, “Man in the Middle” in which he discusses his life as a closeted NBA player. Amaechi has been remarkably eloquent in the interviews I have read.

If only the same could be said for you, Mr. Tim Hardaway, former Miami Heat star. Just in case you forgot, in a radio interview last week (hard to claim you’ve been taken out of context when there is a recording), you spouted this vitriol when asked how you would respond to an openly gay player in the NBA:

"First of all I wouldn't want him on my team. Second of all, if he was on my team I would really distance myself from him because I don't think that's right and I don't think he should be in the locker room while we're in the locker room." When the interviewer suggested you were being homophobic, you continued: "Well, you know, I hate gay people. I let it be known, I don't like gay people. I don't like to be around gay people….
"Yeah, I'm homophobic. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world, or in the United States. So, yeah, I don't like it."

When it was again suggested that your views were, well, not too dissimilar to those made before the NBA was integrated, you responded…“Something has to give. If you have 12 other ballplayers in your locker room that's upset and can't concentrate and always worried about him in the locker room or on the court or whatever, it's going to be hard for your teammates to win and accept him as a teammate." I’m not sure you got the point of the interviewer’s suggestion.

To say that official condemnation of your comments was swift would be an understatement. The NBA immediately suspended your involvement with All-Star events and you went into what has to be the most inept spin control I’ve ever seen.

Your first attempt at an apology—that same day to another Miami media outlet: "Yes, I regret it. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said I hate gay people or anything like that," he said. "That was my mistake."

THAT was your mistake? SAYING what you really feel? The fault lies not in your ignorant homophobia, but in actually exposing it? Um…Apology not accepted Mr. Hardaway…try again.

And by the way, Mr. Hardaway, I’m betting you don’t watch Entertainment Tonight. I don’t either (I swear), but I’m sure if you did, you would have seen the almost career ending brouhaha caused when a cast member of “Grey’s Anatomy” used a gay-baiting slur in referring to his co-star, who happens to be gay.
Were you surprised after the vast majority of your former NBA colleagues distanced themselves from both you AND your views in interviews over the weekend, I’ll admit I was incredulous when you tried again to spin your hoped-for broadcasting career back into existence in another Miami media interview yesterday when you said you "didn't mean" to say what you said.

Here’s exactly what you said…
"I don't hate gay people. I'm a goodhearted person. I interact with people all the time. ... I respect people. For me to say 'hate' was a bad word, and I didn't mean to use it."

When asked about your reaction to the umbrage taken at your statements by LGBT groups and the NBA, your response was: "It was like, you know, I had killed somebody. ... I never knew that this was going to escalate that high."

Hmmmmmmmmmm….No. Sorry, not so much. If you had killed someone, I would be calling for your arrest, prosecution, and incarceration. Right now, I’m just congratulating the NBA for distancing itself from you and your comments and asking you to accept responsibility for views that aren’t simply ignorant, they are dangerous.

But, back to the meat of your second apology…

Hate was a “bad word.” I’ll agree with you there.

“I don’t hate gay people.” Well, you did last week. What has changed? And have you changed your view that people like Mr. Amaechi, and me for that matter, “shouldn’t be in the world, or in the United States”? I’m sorry, Mr. Hardaway…I’m just not convinced yet.

Here’s a suggestion for you, Mr. Hardaway. Accept the offer you have received from the mayor of North Miami, Kevin Burns, who has invited you to spend the day with his family—he, his partner of 23 years, Rob Flint, and their daughter, Autumn. Open yourself to the possibility that you have been misinformed—that perhaps your world-view isn’t quite in touch with reality.

Educate yourself. Don’t just twist words around as you have in your two tortured attempts at extricating yourself from the muck. Really look at what you said and what’s behind it. Take just a moment to read about how your parents and grandparents were spoken of by leading figures of the South just a few decades ago.

And, perhaps, take a lesson from Mr. Amaechi, and don’t take the reaction to your ignorance and homophobia so personally. Here is what he has had to say about your comments.

“His words pollute the atmosphere. It creates an atmosphere that allows young gays and lesbians to be harassed in school, creates an atmosphere where in 33 states you can lose your job, and where anti-gay and lesbian issues are used for political gain. It's an atmosphere that hurts all of us, not just gay people. Famously, they're saying in 2007 that homophobia is not an issue. While he is not a representative of the NBA or of straight men, there's no point pretending it's not an opinion that is out there."

and…

"I'm actually tempted to laugh. Finally, someone who is honest. It is ridiculous, absurd, petty, bigoted and shows a lack of empathy that is gargantuan and unfathomable. But it is honest. And it illustrates the problem better than any of the fuzzy language other people have used so far.''

Did you notice? He didn’t attack you. He took issue with what you said. I don’t know what motivated you to shed public light on your truly dangerous and destructive point of view. My fear is that the response to your statements—instead of motivating a dialogue about what societal forces shaped your self-confessed hatred—will cause others who feel the way you said you feel to become even more resentful…blaming gays and their supporters for your fall from grace instead of placing the blame where it truly belongs.

Words have power sir. One would have hoped you’d have known that before this past week. Surely you know it now. Freedom of speech means you have the right to say what you said…but it doesn’t release you from responsibility for what you said.