Ah, Christmas...the time of the year my friends from my hometown and I always waste our money to get each other some of the most worthless gifts ever, usually awful DVDs. In the spirit of Christmas, I've listed some of my favorite worst movies of all time, gifts that tell the recipient "I care enough about you to spend money on a DVD, but not enough to care whether you actually enjoy it." Unless you're actually into bad movies...in which case, you've made somebody's Christmas.

"The Astronaut's Wife"--the perfect gift to build somebody's hope up before crushing them. This epic stars Johnny Depp and Charlize Theron--some of the most talented actors of their generation. A lot of people think Johnny Depp can't make a bad movie. A lot of people haven't seen this movie. Don Cheadle likely has SARS in his scenes. Admittedly, nothing compares to when Depp drops the c-bomb on Theron (it's even dirtier than you think).

"Future War"--rated the 57th worst movie of all time by www.imdb.com, there's no way 56 worse movies have ever been made. A runaway slave from the future escapes to present day earth, only to be tracked down by cyborgs with dinosaurs. A classic case of directors ruining a perfectly good script. (Best moment: hero gets into a newspaper because he takes a job as a high school teacher. The accompanying photo shows him shirtless and bloodied, having just killed a cyborg.)

"Mitchell"--Joe Don Baker's finest effort. IMDB ranks this one 54th. A drunk, incompetent cop becomes the unlikely hero that viewers of this film will root against. Inexplicably, halfway through the film, his chief antagonist dies in a dune buggy accident. We learn this from a car radio, and the man is never mentioned again. Another highlight: in a heated 25-mph car chase, Mitchell's headlight gets knocked out only to reappear instants later. Brilliant. Or when Mitchell shoots a man because he won't tell him what his name is. Do yourself a favor and get the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 version.

"Simon Sez"--Dennis Rodman reprises his role as Simon. Dane Cook, in the worst move of his career, co-stars. Seeing "Double Team" is a prerequisite to viewing this gem. Sorry, Dennis, but without Jean-Claude Van Damne, you just can't carry a movie. #53 IMBD.

Any movie about snakes. "Python" is worth it for the performances of Casper van Dien and Jenny McCarthy. "Boa," aka "New Alcatraz" is another favorite of mine, largely due to heartfelt performances from Dean Cain and NFL placekicker Dean Biasucci. Marcus Aurelius (a large black man, FYI) gives a strong performance. Look for him in "Dragon Fighter," also starring Dean Cain, and "Python 2," the sequel to the aforementioned awful "Python." Of course, "Boa vs. Python" is the mother lode.

"Cutaway"--a classic staring Rodman as well as Tom Berenger, Stephen Baldwin and Casper van Dien. A band of stunt parachuters must smuggle drugs to earn enough money to do what they really love--really stupid parachuting tricks.

"Love and a Bullet"--Treach, from Naughty by Nature, at his finest. Plays a hitman trying to get out of the game. Says lines like "Mmmm...these black-eyed peas the shit!" and reveals his cock.

There's a lot more out there, but these would be a solid foundation to providing somebody you love (or hate) with a truly worthless DVD collection.