So here I am on Saturday afternoon, waiting for 6 p.m. to roll around so I can roll on out this joint. Yes, that's right, I'm working on Saturday, per usual.

I'm used to that by now, so no complaints there. Turns out I never get a case of the "Mondays." I can sleep it as late as I like on Mondays, or be as hungover as I want to be. Jerks.

However, I went to the vending machine a bit ago to get me a soda. There was Coke, Diet Coke, Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, and so on. There was even Diet Dr. Pepper. There was not, however, actual Dr. Pepper.

Well FUCK YOU vending machine, I don't think Diet Dr. Pepper tastes even more like Dr. Pepper. I also think you should give me the choice to get a real goddamn Dr. Pepper. This country was founded on basic fucking freedoms.

Anyway, I opted for the Coke. I think it has a bit more of a kick than Pepsi, despite Pepsi's whole "generatioNEXT" shit.

The Coke came in a "Holiday 2005" edition can, complete with polar bears et all. I think little things like this show that the holiday spirit is something we carry within ourselves the whole year round, or at least until we run out of Coke cans with polar bears.

The 12-ounce can sure hit the spot. Not to mention, at 55 cents, it's reasonably priced. I could have splurged for the 20-ounce bottle, but at $1, it's actually proportionately priced higher than the 12-ounce can. (100 cents/20 ounces=5 cents/ounce. 55 cents/12 ounces=4.58 cents/ounce). In other terms, you get .2 ounces per cent with the bottle, but .218 ounces per cent in the can.

So I get the can, which provides a better drinking sensation than the bottle, at a lower cost. Why go for the bottle? I could see maybe doing it if you're fat and only have a dollar. If you're fat, but have $1.10, it would probably be worth it to get two cans.

Doing what I do best--help greedy people make the most economic choices.

P.S. This was probably the worst blog entry anywhere, ever. And I don't care, because you'll gobble it up and ask for more.