Damn straight (warning: explicit language used)
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Fucking A. What a day. What was so special about today, you ask? Well, shut the hell up and I'll fucking tell you.
First off, the Steelers did to the Colts what the Patriots normally do to them in the play-offs. We owned them, and it was only a few monstrously erroneous calls that even kept the Colts in the game. Fuck you, officials, if I see you in the streets, I will shatter your testicles with repeated steel-toed kicks.
Granted, for a second after Jerome Bettis fumbled with a minute to go, I almost felt stupid waiving my terrible towell in a bar full of Colts fans. But, then I thought--hey, FUCK them. Then Mike Vanderjagt showed why he was voted Time magazine's most sexually inept male, absolutely shanking a field goal.
So we face the Broncos next week. Blow me, Denver.
As if the Steelers upset didn't make the day good enough, loyal FOX viewers were then treated to 2 hours of Jack Bauer doing what he does best--fucking up terrorists, even killing them after he tells them he'll get them medical attention. Jack Bauer can even kick the SHIT out of Chuck Norris, and that's no easy task. (Interesting fact: Norris was asked to appear on an episode of 24, and they even shot a scene, but Bauer fucked him up so bad, even though he wasn't even trying, that Norris started bleeding out of his nipples and then sued FOX not to run the clip. Bauer laughed and kicked Norris' mother in the shins.)
Two more hours of Jack tomorrow night. Can he stop the Russian terrorists before they execute the hostages? It's going to be tough with high-ranking officials inside the White House on the terrorists' side, but I'll be damned if Jack can't do it. And you just know he's a Steelers fan, even though he's living in Los Angeles. (Sorry, LA reader(s), but the Raiders suck so much ass that Bauer once kicked the crap out of the whole team at a bar while he was drinking a Jack on the rocks in one hand and fingering Eva Longeria with the other. True story.)
In other news, I'm coming upon my 3000th reader of this blog. Whoever makes that 3000th visit, leave a note and you shall be duly rewarded. What will the reward be? Cash money? A bomb threat to your place of work? The kidnapping of all everyone you hold dear? Stay tuned to find out.
First off, the Steelers did to the Colts what the Patriots normally do to them in the play-offs. We owned them, and it was only a few monstrously erroneous calls that even kept the Colts in the game. Fuck you, officials, if I see you in the streets, I will shatter your testicles with repeated steel-toed kicks.
Granted, for a second after Jerome Bettis fumbled with a minute to go, I almost felt stupid waiving my terrible towell in a bar full of Colts fans. But, then I thought--hey, FUCK them. Then Mike Vanderjagt showed why he was voted Time magazine's most sexually inept male, absolutely shanking a field goal.
So we face the Broncos next week. Blow me, Denver.
As if the Steelers upset didn't make the day good enough, loyal FOX viewers were then treated to 2 hours of Jack Bauer doing what he does best--fucking up terrorists, even killing them after he tells them he'll get them medical attention. Jack Bauer can even kick the SHIT out of Chuck Norris, and that's no easy task. (Interesting fact: Norris was asked to appear on an episode of 24, and they even shot a scene, but Bauer fucked him up so bad, even though he wasn't even trying, that Norris started bleeding out of his nipples and then sued FOX not to run the clip. Bauer laughed and kicked Norris' mother in the shins.)
Two more hours of Jack tomorrow night. Can he stop the Russian terrorists before they execute the hostages? It's going to be tough with high-ranking officials inside the White House on the terrorists' side, but I'll be damned if Jack can't do it. And you just know he's a Steelers fan, even though he's living in Los Angeles. (Sorry, LA reader(s), but the Raiders suck so much ass that Bauer once kicked the crap out of the whole team at a bar while he was drinking a Jack on the rocks in one hand and fingering Eva Longeria with the other. True story.)
In other news, I'm coming upon my 3000th reader of this blog. Whoever makes that 3000th visit, leave a note and you shall be duly rewarded. What will the reward be? Cash money? A bomb threat to your place of work? The kidnapping of all everyone you hold dear? Stay tuned to find out.
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