It's been nearly three weeks since my last update, mainly because of a lot of REALLY BIG EVENTS in my life during that time, which I'm sure you'd all find really interesting.

But enough about me--here's some random musings:

A list of Communist celebrities in America:
Barry Bonds
Alec Baldwin
Jenny Finch
3LW
G. Gordon Liddy
Jerry Falwell

I'll release more of the list once the witch-hunt's begun in good fashion. For now though, check those folks out--it's all right in front of you.

People who need to be deported in 2006:
-A-holes (besides cops) who drive Crown Vics. What, are you trying to do your part to prevent people from speeding, like you're some kind of civilian-cop? Well, listen up, shit-for brains, you're no patriot, you're a douchebag. Everytime someone sees you on the highway, their first reaction is to slow down. Once I'm sure that it's not a cop, my second reaction is to run you off the road and shove your Jesus fish up your anal-retentive behind. Get the fuck out of our country.
-Latino and Japanese baseball players. We're at war here. We don't need to be demoralized further by being shown up at our own damn game.
-People who believe in global warming. I mean, come on, show me some sort of evidence--like maybe carbon dioxide levels that are through the roof and progressively worse storm seasons that can be attributed to unstable changes to the atmosphere before you start making rash accusations.

Extra Credit:
Fill in the blank:
In "Showdown in Little Tokyo," before a massive gun-battle, Brandon Lee turns to Dolph Lundren and says:
"If we die here, I just want you to know that you have the biggest ____ that I've ever seen."