Yesterday, we lost Jerry Falwell, a true beacon of morality. (I was already planning on writing on the subject, Frosty, don't take too much credit). A nation mourns.

Falwell stood above his peers, unerringly serving as god's prophet. His ethics never faltered - not when he supported racial segregation, not when he (repeatedly ) blamed gay people and various other groups for other people's problems, and certainly not when he had an affair with Jessica Hahn. Yes, truly this man truly deserved to call himself the president of the "Moral Majority."

Thank God for people like Falwell who could explain God's actions to us. In the case of 9/11, despite knowing he would no doubt attract negative attention from liberal wackos, he stood strong and squarely laid the blame where it belonged - on people who lived different lifestyles than him. The terrorists, the nation's failure to stop Osama bin Laden after his first attack on the trade towers and other terrorist actions, these were but sidebars in the true story here.

Gays, lesbians, abortionists, pagans, feminists and the ACLU were all to blame for 9/11. You see, in the old days, God used to punish sinners with direct methods (floods, raining hellfire upon them, etc...), but in today's evolving (whoops, did I say that?) world, He's decided to use people themselves (in this case, extremist Muslims) as a vessel for his frustration with mankind. More gays and feminists = more terrorists. It's a simple equation. It can only be inferred that all the people in the World Trade Center towers and the Pentagon who perished that day either fell into Falwell's aforementioned categories, or were staunch supporters.

What was truly inspiring was that Falwell stood by his assertion in the face of criticism. Well, technically, he apologized for his comments. And given his history of making such comments and then apologizing before making more similar comments shortly thereafter, one can only infer that he was genuine in his apology.

His comment "AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals" is similarly inspiring. This logic is flaw-proof, as the "just" God is clearly only targeting homosexuals with this plague. Yeah, that's right, Magic Johnson. We all know your dirty little secret.

I can go on at great length about Falwell's legacy. His well-educated masses helped turn the corner on a difficult period in this great nation's history. He feared where our country would be if not for the election of Ronald Reagan (that Jimmy Carter is a veritable monster, what with his Habitat for Humanity and all). His supporters have led so many presidential candidates to suddenly realize that their earlier views on abortion and civil rights were wrong.

I needn't go on; in short, Jerry Falwell, you will be missed. Thank God we still have Pat Robertson.